Ok all you guys and gals out there. I have read all the Harley stuff and I am studying up on the Divorce Busting web site.<P>If you have followed the story of my life, I had to file for divorce because of custody and money reasons. My H is having a MLC, and is getting over an affair. He just wants a divorce.<P>BUT he wants to do things as a family, wants to date me and he says who know what the future hold for us. He wants us to be friends. The more I pressured him to come back home the future I pushed him away.<P>He also mentioned that he was mad that I lost weight and started wearing makeup and looking good. He resented that I was acting happy. (as you all know I have been dieing inside and have been broken because of his affair)<P>Harley says Plan a....fine, Divorce Busting says at the last resort, do not pursue them, do not call, do not beg, cry ect.<P>Ok I am being forced to move ahead with the divorce, I want to leave the door open for him to come back to me even after divorce. <P>So when I see him, do I treat him all gaga, or do I act like I am doing fine with out him?<P>He will be in town Monday for a meeting and is going to stop bye to see the kids. He has IMed me twice when I have been on line and has emailed me once in the last 5 days. I have not emailed back and I talked to him like we were best friends when he Imed me.<P>Is it time to play hard to get, act like I can go on? Or do I be like a lap dag and drool evertime he comes around? Or do I do both? How would you do both<P>I am at my last resort here. Our first hearing is April 3. He is out of town the rest of the month for work. He is coming to spent the night, when I am out of town this coming fri (17) to watch the kids.<P>I need some advice!!<P>thanks all

MY3<P>I am very new at this, and as of now my H is still living with us, but I've found myself asking the same questions. When I try to do a Plan A he seems to sense something is phony about my personality. We've always had a kind of sarcastic relationship, and when I get back to my old, sarcastic personality he seems to enjoy it. He doesn't seem to know what to do with the newer, sweeter version of me.<P>I'm really in no position to give a lot of advice here, but be yourself as much as you can. Be like you are with your best friends. I have read a lot, and try not to be clingy and weepy, but I have found I can't change my entire personality.<P>Best of luck to you. It certainly seems like he still cares about you.<P>

my3kids,<BR> My opinion would be to act like you're doing just fine without him.Be nice,but act more independant.Don't act needy,or drool at the sight of him.It goes back to the old theory:when you can have it,you don't want it,when you can't have it,you want it,etc.It sounds like you're taking care of yourself,losing weight,looking better.Maybe he'll think YOU have some new"friends".Perhaps when he stops by on Monday,you could mention that you're going out to dinner.You'd be suprised what a little jealousy does to a man.Just a thought.Show him that you are strong,and have respect for yourself.It may work wonders.Good luck. --Murph

I agree with Murph. I did all the wrong things--crying, etc and I ended up divorced. Now when I see him, I act like I am just fine and I can tell it bothers him that I am no longer pining away. Good Luck!!

Hey M3K<P>I agree, act "normal" be friendly, be loving if he is, but be confident.<P>I think the 180 of DB works. It makes them wonder. You have seen this, he is wondering if you are happier without him. <BR>Now don't go out and start dating just yet but keep working on yourself.<P>Do the plan A but don't drool, just respond to his lead.<P>Best of luck M3K, you are doing great. Keep working on you and either way you win!!!<P>((((((M3K))))))))))<BR><P>------------------<BR>Cat<P>catfrommb@yahoo.com