I suppose my h is having some sort of crisis. MLC? depression? an affair of somesort is happening as well.<P>I want to try so hard to disengage here but it is so difficult because of the children. He comes to see them often and calls daily or nightly. He always talks to me.<P>We had a tiff a few weeks ago and did not talk to eachother for a day. He was affected by that but it was hard on the children (2) because they are young (elemen. age) and do not understand. <P>I just feel he would better get a feeling of what it would be like if I was gone if I were to disengage more. I'm caught between trying to plan a and disengaging and allowing him to figure it out. Any advice???

It is very hard to disengage when children are involved if that is what you want to do.<P>I looked at your profile and there was no background there.<P>Are you separated already ?<P><BR>How long ago was discovery of affair if there is one?<P><BR>Reason I ask, is you need to keep in Plan A as long as you can. This is to give your H a "safe" feeling so that he can return to the family. As long as there is love busting, he will continue to justify his actions.<P>When you can no longer stand the hurt and you feel your love for him is diminishing that is when you go to Plan B.<P>It is good he still wants to talk with the kids. No matter what happens, kids need both parents(generally speaking).<P>The best you can do is to refuse to talk to him when he asks for you. Tell him that speaking to him causes too much pain for you since your marriage is in trouble.<P>Maybe that will help him see clearer.<P><BR>Best of luck and God Bless<P>Bob