This is for Bob,(and any other men who are divorced or will soon be).<BR> <BR> Bob,<BR> I just read your post on what women want in a man.Since my W is shacked up with the LoveGod(no,not Don Knotts),I've been doing some research.It's a whole new ballgame out there,Buddy.It's totally different than when we were 20,and took a girl to the Sunset Drive-in Theatre,and tried to see if we could"cop a feel"in the back seat of our'65 Chevy.<BR> What you need is some new,updated dating advice.What I have here for you is some sure-fire,never-miss opening lines that'll get you results every time.Now,tonight,put on your best'70's Disco 3-piece suit,a few gold chains,grease your hair back,and give these a try!<P> -- Murphy's Sure-Fire Pick-up Lines --<P> 1."Hey Baby,is it hot in here,or is it just you?"<BR> 2."If I told you that you have a beautiful body,would you hold it against me?"<BR> 3."All those curves,and me with no brakes!"<BR> 4."I lost my phone number.Can I have yours?"<BR> 5."You're so hot,you melt the plastic in my underwear!"<BR> 6."That's a nice dress.Can I talk you out of it?"<BR> 7.Can I buy you a drink,or do you just want the money?"<BR> 8."I've had quite a bit to drink,and you're starting to look pretty good!"<BR> 9."That's a nice dress.I'd sure like to see it on the floor next to my bed."<BR>10."Hey Baby!You look like you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch!"<P> So,give these a try.Guaranteed results.<BR> Right,Ladies??? --Murph

I just need to do a bit of relief too...<P>It's been a long week...<P>How about...<P>When a guy sees an attractive woman with gorgeous eyes and has to meet her, he might approach her and say: "Excuse me, but was your father a thief?" The girl usually answers "no" or something like that. The guy then follows with: "Well then I want to know who stole the stars from the heavens and placed them in your eyes!"<P> <BR>What you do is walk up to girl/guy sitting at a bar and ask: "Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?" <P><BR>"Don't I know you? Of course -- you're the girl with the beautiful smile!" (Timing is very important here!)<P><BR>"I know milk does a body good, but jeez - how much have you been drinking?" (Better if she is actually drinking milk. This also works on men.)<P><BR>"Are those your real teeth? My... they're shiny." (for men over 50) <P><BR>In a grocery store: "You could save alot on grocery bills this month if you'd have dinner with me..." <P>Ask a girl where she is from and when she replies some place your response is 'Oh, I could have sworn you were from paradise.' <P>If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.<P>Excuse me miss, but I would like to know if your name is as beautiful as you are.<P>Hey you see my friend over there?He wants to know if you think i'm cute?<P>Baby if u were a teardrop in my eye i wouldnt cry because i would be araid of losing you<P>I need to ask directions to somewhere...<BR>where?... <BR>your heart.<P> <p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited March 25, 2000).]

Hey Murph, <P>Thanks for the heads up on the latest pickup lines... Now I'll know what to watch out for! <P>As for us ladies, the only pickup line we need is "Hi".... teee heeee! <P>Have a great weekend.... now that I know the lines to watch out for, I might just get dressed to kill and go out tonight!<P>Thoughts & Prayers,<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>There are deep sorrows and killing cares in life, but the encouragement and love of friends were given us to make all difficulties bearable. <BR>-- John Oliver Holmes<P>The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.<BR>-- Elie Wiesel<P><BR>

Hey Murph! <P>How bout this one??<BR>Guy: Did it hurt?<BR>Girl: Did what hurt?<BR>Guy: When you fell down from heaven!!!<P>I guess the girls could use that one too!!

OH MY GOODNESS!! <P>Those were terrible! <P>I have to agree with butterfly!!<P>Good Luck<BR>Mercy

What? no Hey, baby, what's your sign??????? <P>Murph, you made my day. Thanks for the hilarity.