Last night my h said he is so confused right now and he lied to me for 6 - 8 months before D-Day he feels like he is a very bad person. I told him he is a great person!! I really believe that he made a major mistake. We are trying to look towards the future. <P>He says he hopes is it not to late to save our marriage. He has said before he wouldn't be home if he didn't think it is possible. But he is still in love with the ow. He so very weak!!!!! <P>He treats me sweet and nice, he doesn't try and pick fights like he did before to jusify his affair. This is how I now there has been no contact, I remember how bad he was to me. I just watch and listen to him and what kind of day he is having.<P>He said he didn't know if it was ever good for us before the affair. He thought I was the best he could have, so we got married. Talk about giving someone a big let down.<P>It has been 9 weeks since no contact. He said he rejected ow and he feels like ow is trying this time at her marriage. <P>He knows living apart I would never come back. I know myself that I would start to heal and feel better and not want to go back to pain. Don't get me wrong I love my h very much and I have been Plan A'ing since D-day.<P>During the conversation I didn't show any pain. I just listened to him. He needed to vent and I am his best friend but it is hard because I am his wife and he betrayed me.<P>We were talking about other things to that made me upset, like him saying he was a failure to his son. I told him what I see and that made me cry, he that I was crying because of the affair I explained no that is not the case. Whenever we talk about the affair I remain very calm, it really surprises my h and me.<P>

Big Hope, I don't know if you were asking or just venting, but I wanted you to know I understand what you are going through....sort of.<P>I think my H is doing the same, but he has really not admitted anything....I think he thinks there is nothing to admit. <P>He did move out...about 2 months ago..and interestingly enough he seemed to be in withdrawal then. He came home like he was in a prison camp... he would slink in and complain of being really cold. He would go in and go to bed. He looked possessed or drugged. I even checked his car for drugs. <P>I couldn't imagine what had caused this change in him. <P>He continued to work with OP and it seemed that the fantasy popped with their continual working together. He seems less in withdrawal now but not quite "with us"....<P>Unfortunately, I am beginning to withdraw myself. Hopefully we will meet again...