Hi everyone,<P>I found this site in October of 1999, about a week after Dday. I showed my husband (firestorm) this site about a week later when we decided to commit ourselves to saving our marriage. I didn't post anything until December 3rd, our anniversary.<P>Finding this site made me realize that I was not alone in this fight and that our situation was not hopeless. I give this site and the Harley philosophy a lot of credit for the fact that we have made it together so far.<P>I guess the best way to say it is that I LOVE THIS PLACE, but wish that nobody needed to have it!<P>Peppermint

Hey, Deb, how's it going??? <P>Oops, hope nobody checked this post when there was just an "x" on it. Can't spell, can't type AND hit the wrong button. <P>Registered here July 99. Lurked for a while before, seems like forever, but I'm really not sure how long.<P>Got over 2000 posts (scared to check how many)- now that IS sad and you can rest assured that most of them are long!!!! Sheba and NB will, anyway!<P>This site, wow. It saved my life. It saved my sanity. It saved my marriage. Everyone I knew, who knew what was going on, told me it was over. I believed it was over. It was suffering, hanging on by a thread, but not over!!!<P>The best thing that happened to me in finding MB happened to ME! Plan A taught me so very much about myself....my strengths, my weaknesses, my capacity to grow and change for the better. I really do LIKE me now...so much more than before. I love my strength, my confidence, a whole lot of things about myself.<P>YOU told me I'd survive in my very first post! (I can still remember thinking, "she can't possibly know how I feel!" ) Wassi told me I could grow, if I chose to. Sheba taught me I could find humor in even the darkest moment. Lucks never minded setting me straight and stopping me from feeling sorry for myself. Jim provided the voice of reason. Frank comforted when I was down. DeWayne held my hand (virtually, of course) when I couldn't go on. Ceecee made me laugh and keep my temper in check. Kat, ES and Hopeful, Lonestar and Petunia, Crazy or What?, SHA, Chris and so many others provided inspiration and motivation during those early days. So many more have since then. And everyone encouraged. So many more friends. So many more people I love so much. Shoulders to cry on who wouldn't let me just feel sorry for myself. There's a big difference. Started naming them all and this post got REALLY long. That's the most amazing thing. To truly care about so many. To have so many care about you.<P>You know, Harley's principles are great. No question about it in my mind. But the real treasure of the site - all the wonderful people. Through each post I learned patience, compassion, what real love really is. I learned to ride out the pain, let go of the anger, feel for others (including PT and my WS!), and strive to be my best. I got my hand slapped when I was out of hand. Was told to take another look at a situation from a different perspective. I know it happened gradually, but all of a sudden I realized I was waking up and viewing the world and the day from a whole new place - and looking forward to facing it. All that when I STILL didn't believe Robert would ever come home.<P>Oh, my gotta stop. One thing you guys COULDN'T teach me was to be brief!!! Sorry! [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img] [img]http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/grin.gif[/img]<P>I love this site, I love the people here. Right now, in recovery and rebuilding, there's not so much time anymore, but I still stop by almost every day. <P>Can't thank of a better place or time to say thank you, with all my love and everything inside me to all the dear, dear people here. I wouldn't be THIS Lori if it weren't for you.<P>Love to everyone.<P>Lori<p>[This message has been edited by lostva (edited April 13, 2000).]

Wow guys, looks like we all pretty much like this place, a lot.<P>For all who asked, well I'm still here and it looks like I'll stay. The depression I have been dealing with for years has started to lift a little, Mike (debs_bozo here) has actually started being a tiny bit more attentive, especially when I remind him. <P>I realise that some of the things I want from him are just not in his nature to give, at least not after the first year in a relationship. *sigh*. <P>All in all I have decided that I was more unhappy without him than I am with him (most days !).<P>I'm so glad to see so many old faces showing uo, I am saddened to see that so many new folks need to be here, but glad they found us too.<P>Lets face it, Steve Harley provides this board for us, (May God bless him for that !) but it is us , the users of this board who make a difference in those long hard hours we struggle with all the problems that beset a marriage in this world.<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

I have been here three months I think - or so - was away for a while after intially joining the group - but some recent events brought me back to help me straighten out in my head some of the things going on with me. <P>It was comforting to see that once again - I am not alone in my feelings - it is a great comfort and helps when I get really mad at H and just need to talk to someone from both positions. <P>I really appreciate this site - I wish I could get my husband to join - then again - he may be here since alot of the things he does and says now are very new for him and 'so rational', which he has never been before. Many of the ways he reacts to me - sound so much like the advice this site has to offer - he may be here - I hope. He needed as much help with this as me. <P>

I think I found this site around memorial day weekend and joined in June 1999. This site has been a God send and I know He brought me here to help me heal after 8 affiars in 7 years. Ouch!!!!<P>We are getting along a little better now that she is wanting revenge for him cheating on her while he was cheating on his W with her and the fact that he owes both of us individually money. We are planning on taking him to small claims court to get it back. <P>She called me today to let me know how her eye and dental exams went. She even called me to let me know how long she expects to be at part-time job tonight. I am waiting for her to start calling before she leaves work since it is usually very late when she leaves.<P>------------------<BR><B><I>God Bless,<BR>Rob</I></B><BR> regilmor@swbell.net

I have only been here for a couple of weeks. I thank God I too found this site. I read it every day. I cry at some and know that I am not alone in how I feel. It is so hard to be Patient. I want things done now. I want my H home and not with the OW. I read other postings and it gives me hope that things can change. Thanks to everone here who support all of us. It sure makes life a little easier every day.

Hi Deb -- Interesting responses so far. . .<P>Me? I've been here for over a year. Over 800 posts. My W and I are still together, and doing very well considering where we were.<P>What do I think of this board??<P>This is a tricky question. . .<P>Over all I love it. My time here has helped me learn a great deal. I have also met some people whom I consider to be friends. I pretty much lurk now. Don't seem to have much time to post very often. I still have a lot of questions, but I'm pretty sure that I will never get all the answers I want.<P>My W has posted here, and every once in a while still does.<P>I also hate this place. I mean just the fact that society has gotten so out of hand, that a place like this has to exist . . . It's just a shame.<P>God Bless

Hallo!<P>Been here about 6 weeks. I came here looking for simple answers to a complex situation. <P>My H and I are in recovery right now. He posts occasionally. This place has really been a significant part of my recovery even as the betrayer.<P> <BR>Mercy

HI All,<BR> Well, I've been here since October 99 and you can see by my user name, I was pretty desperate!! I had NO idea when I picked that name just HOW MUCH help I could get from virtual strangers!! <BR> My W's affair still goes on but I too have grown sooo much! Being a man, and taught NOT to cry, I can't believe how much ALL of the stories here have made me cry!!<BR> I can relate to most, and some, I don't know if I would be strong enough to go through your pain. Really, you AMAZE me sometimes MB!<BR> I have made close friends that I will NEVER EVER EVER forget if I live to be as old as my W's OM I really feel as close to some as my own family!! And some I may even owe my life to because when I got here, I was just out of my mind with grief. The people here kept me off the bridge until GOD could come back into my life and save and comfort me. NB, Sheba, Chris, MEDIC, NSR, WilliamJ, professorg and so many more I've forgotten (names only!!) OH, that's right here's another lostva. Yeah, she's helped me a little. Lori, I love you (I know I don't need to explain to you )<P> I really think that GOD made MB!! If ALL people would care about their fellow man like we do here OH MY GOD!! What a great world this would be!!!<BR> I pray DAILY for you all!! GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK<P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>