Help me--my friend was an OW and she's in such a withdrawal/depression she's scaring me. She's not healing over the ended A. She's not functioning, is about to lose her job. She refused antidepressants. I need to know NOW what works, what's the plan, what's the steps. STAT!! This is urgent!!

There's no real answer for you. Sounds like she needs counseling and quick! Just be there with her as much as possible because she's at a dangerous point. Get her to talk to someone, a professional if possible. If she won't, keep on her even if she gets angry w/you. At one time, I was at a point where I felt like I was losing my mind. Thank goodness I had some support. Do what you have to do to keep her safe.<BR>

Hi Leilana,<BR>I also suggest you get your friend in to talk to someone. ..... FAST.... <BR>You can also refer her to a wonderful web site for woman going through this. Go to <A HREF="http://www.healingforwomen.org" TARGET=_blank>www.healingforwomen.org</A> <BR>She needs someone who understands her and there are many on this forum who do. Be there for her and pray with her. It's the toughest time of her life, no doubt, but she must get out and end it.

This sounds all too familiar....you need to get her into someone.... even her gynecologist will help... mine is also my councelor.... But do it quick.... <P>

Momma, Wings, Lacee--bless you for responding. I've been blasted in the past whenever I mentioned helping OW--I've been so lost as to what to do. But things have gotten desperate lately. Waited too long for her to reach out when she was ready to talk again but that was the wrong thing to do. Thank you for your input--I'm seriously on it.<BR>If you think of anything else at all--send me a thread. I check daily. <P>Mahalo,<BR>Leilana<BR>

May I suggest Risperdal. It is not an anti-depressant. It is for thought-disorders: delusions, hallucinations, persective distortions. Ideal for OW. Extremely helpful, starts working immedately but reaches full effect in about 4-5 weeks.

You made me edit my outraged post with Marie! Why'd you have to go and do something nice for me?<P>You could very well be my angel in disguise!<BR>She hates the idea of being "numbed" on antidepressants--her words.<P>Thank you... and you may suggest anytime you like!

Guilty1...can you give more details on Risperal? Is it good for anxiety and insomnia, if you know?<BR>Thanks....

It does not work for anxiety. But it does cure insomia. It is in a class of drugs called the major tranquilzers.<P>There are side-effects. Weight-gain about 8lbs for me. Dry mouth.<P>And it is not cheap. $258 per 4 weeks, reimbursed by insurance. But it worked really well for me.

Dear friend: I will agree with the rest, your friend needs to seek counseling of some sort to help her find reality. I don't mean that in a negative way, but when you are down deep, nothing seems right. I know I have been there. Around the winter holidays, I was planning the grand exit in terms of preparations, method, clean-up and the like. I have made several attempts in the past, hospitalized, drugs and so on. I am still here. However, the drugs did not work for me. That does not go on to say that they won't work for your friend. I am just saying that I have been through it all over a 20 year span. I have heard others who have felt a remarkable difference with certain types of drugs and therapy. <BR>Believe it or not even though these folks are not qualified counselors, they have been very instrumental in me rethinking what I was planning to do. I have kept posts that was sent to me when I was at my worst to read when I have those days. And yes, I still get those days. In fact, I was that way this past weekend. I focused on reasons why I should stay here. I found plenty like working in my garden and developing those prize roses, upgrading my bike to a big boy Harley, redoing my home, going to movies, seeing my daughters driving vans someday so I can laugh at them and countless other important things to me.<BR>Tell your friend that even the minor things in life are important things to live for. The MM or OM that was in her life is not worth her life. Stand fast and tough. The pain will pass. I have faith. My prayers are with her and you as her support and friend.

Thank you. All prayer are welcome.<P>Your girls are lucky.<P>Tonite my friend finally agreed to go out with me for a nice long talkfest. I really had to bulldoze her into it and I thank all of you for giving me that courage.<P>Wish us luck. <BR>

Bringing this back to the top so you know the story.