I kind of know already how you guys may answer my question...but I am dealing with a really weird situation here with my Husband.<P>(small update...married 19 years, 3 teens, H left 5 weeks ago 2 days after D of 2-year affair..which is over)<P>The Question: My H is planning on taking our children to the beach next week for a 4 day vacation. This co-incides with Fathers Day, and I thought it was a great idea for him to spend some time with the kids in a place we have known and loved as a family for years. Last week he asked me to go, as the location had always been special to us. He (and I) are both afraid of me going, as we are so up and down right now with feelings. Some days we feel very close, but he pushes back those feelings as they come upon him.<P>The other thing is...this is hard to explain. My H does not respond "normally" to my Plan A. The few times I have been open and honest (not yelling or screaming) but really put my foot down and told him how I felt about certain things, he has made comments about how much he loves those conversations. He says he never felt like he had a partner, because he could always run all over me. Is this a guilt reaction? He almost seems like he wants to be punished for what he has done, and refers to our seperation as his "pennance".<P>We had a long talk the other day, with me laying a few "rules" out, about him coming and going from the house, ect...He got very quiet and I asked him if I was upsetting him by making these demands. He said..."Don't you see that this is all I've ever wanted?" Another time, when I was making some points clear about another conversation that we had he said "I love this." <P>So, the nicer I get the more withdrawn he gets, but the minute I get really strong he just thinks it's great...What am I supposed to do with that?<P>Ok....I'm rambling as ususal. About the beach trip, he is assuming I'm going. He said "well of course you're going, I'm sure you don't want to miss out on that". Yes this is a very arrogant man. I am soooo tempted to not go, just so he'll see my strength is here and he cannot dictate to me what I will and will not do. But, am I giving up an opportunity to build LB? I am just going around in circles here...any advice would be so appreciated.<P>thanks guys...allison<BR>