Hi Everyone,<P>For the most part Tony and I have been doing really well. I did do a major LB on his birthday. I actually planned it. I did next to nothing for it. For three years he has either ignored or refused to celebrate my birhtday but expected me to bend over backwards to make his special. This year I treated him like dirt and then at the end of the day I asked him "so how does it feel to have your day trashed like you trashed all mine". <P>I know it was very mean and spiteful to do. I probably should have not done it but he has ruined everyone of my holidays together. None of them have a special memeory.<P>Other than that major LB we have been doing well. I have not even apologized for the treatment he has received.<P>He has been discussing renewing our commitment to each other. I have no idea what I want out of this relationship anymore. We are doing well. I am sure he has not been doing anything on-line or real life. But I want more in a relationship. I just finally came out and told him last night at dinner that I needed more from him. For the past three years I have lived through all his infidelities, emotional abuse, and his partent's constent put downs. Now he wants to renew our relationship. I am not sure I want it.<P>I just purchased a house and I have been paying for everything. Yet I am using Tony for money. How can I when he has none? I am awful b_$^&@ to him. They even had the balls to tell him that I can not buy the house. Excuse me. It is my money and I will do what ever I want with it. Since I have purchased this house June 1 it has gone up in value by at least 2,000USD. The market is so hot and I got such a great deal with the interest rate that I would be foolish to pass up the chance. <P>I should not let something like this bother me but come one for three years now they have been telling him he should leave me. I moved up here from my family to be with him. I think what really bothers me is that he should tell them off. Tell them the truth...about all his affairs and tell them that they need to stop it. I guess I want a husband who will honnor, respect me and stand up and protect my reputation instead of doing nothing.<P>Tony has shown some real growth but I am tired of constantly being treated like dirt. The other day he was angry over something and called me a fat ugly good for nothing cow. Now I had nothing to do with the issue he was dealing with after he hung up I just went back to work. I did not even bother to call him back. He called me about two hours later to apologize but really. I get punished everythime something happens that I have no control over. <P>I guess my love for him is decreasing day by day. Right now my focus is on getting a better job at some point and finishing my masters. It has not been on him for about several months now. The last grouping of women and then the whole AOL Instant Messanger thing I just have lost more and more love for him. Why am I still with him?<P>I am still trying do not get me wrong but I just feel like I am bending myself into pretzels for someone that is only concerned for his own self and does not even care to stand up tell the truth and take responsability for his actions nor defend me. This really bothers me a great deal. <P>

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Pahakissa1:<BR><B> I did do a major LB on his birthday. I actually planned it. I did next to nothing for it. For three years he has either ignored or refused to celebrate my birhtday but expected me to bend over backwards to make his special. This year I treated him like dirt and then at the end of the day I asked him "so how does it feel to have your day trashed like you trashed all mine". <P>______________________________________________</B> <P>Yes Paha, you were naughty to do that <B> but </B> I understand the feelings behind your actions. You have admited it was wrong, don't beat yourself up over it, you can't change it now. Besides maybe, just maybe it made him see how you felt.<P><B>_____________________________________________<BR>He has been discussing renewing our commitment to each other. I have no idea what I want out of this relationship anymore. ::snip:: But I want more in a relationship. I just finally came out and told him last night at dinner that I needed more from him. For the past three years I have lived through all his infidelities, emotional abuse, and his partent's constent put downs. Now he wants to renew our relationship. I am not sure I want it.<P>I just purchased a house and I have been paying for everything. Yet I am using Tony for money. How can I when he has none? I am awful b_$^&@ to him. They even had the balls to tell him that I can not buy the house. <P>]_____________________________________________<BR>I should not let something like this bother me but come one for three years now they have been telling him he should leave me. I moved up here from my family to be with him. I think what really bothers me is that he should tell them off. Tell them the truth...about all his affairs and tell them that they need to stop it. I guess I want a husband who will honnor, respect me and stand up and protect my reputation instead of doing nothing.<BR>_______________________________________________ </B><P>Don't do this if you are not 100% sure about it Paha. If you do it may say to him that you are really ok with things as they are despite what you say. Your words and actions have to be in line.<P>He does need to let his family know that he wants to be with you, and that they need to back off of you. You are his wife, he shouldn't allow anyone to put you down or mistreat you like that. I know family is important, but he needs to draw a line when it comes to how they talk to and about you, and how they treat you. You have had enough of their bs, I don't blame you !<P> <BR><B>_____________________________________________<BR>Tony has shown some real growth but I am tired of constantly being treated like dirt. The other day he was angry over something and called me a fat ugly good for nothing cow. <BR>_______________________________________________ </B><P>No, No, No ! I don't give a care what he was mad about, this is verbal abuse, tell him you will not allow to speak to you that way ever again !<P><B>_____________________________________________<BR>I guess my love for him is decreasing day by day. <BR></B>_____________________________________________<P>Paha is not a good sign. Maybe you should talk to him about this. <P>Something along the lines of "Look Tony, I love you, however, they way you talk badly to me and the way you allow your family to put me down without saying one word to them about it is slowly killing that love. I don't want that to happen, I need your help to keep this love alive." <P>Then tell him what it is you want or need. Be calm but be clear.<P>I'll be praying for you Paha.<P>Sorry for all the quotes , and for this being so long, but I had a lot I wanted to say (as usual) and I needed the quotes to remember what I was talking about !<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>Hepatitis C, educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://hepatitis-central.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://hepatitis-central.com/</A>

Paha, twice you said you are doing well and yet it doesn't sound real good.<P>So are you just having a bad day (I'm coming off a bad week) or are things really not going well?<P>There are a lot of separate issues here. It may not be good to tell family about the EAs. My h doesn't intend to and it's ok.<P>sorry, gotta go. I'll check back tomorrow.

PaHa:<P>Yes, I've been where you are and I know how frustrating it is. You live through years of wanting things to be different, but putting up with what is. Years of ignored birthdays, spoiled special occasions, mental abuse, feeling like things are not quite right, living in quiet desperation. And then it happens. You find out he's been getting his jollys on the internet or in an affair. <P>The emotional upheaval takes place and eventually he promises to stop and wants to recommit to his marriage. And because that's what you've always done, you plod on, trying to make the best of the situation.<BR>But he hasn't really changed, he's still the same person he was before, but now you're different. Now you question whether you really want this at all.<P>But don't give up, if he is really sincere, then perhaps you can reach him. Not through LB's but through patience and communication.<BR>Give him a chance to change and then see how you feel. It took years to get here, give it a few months to right itself. After all you say you are doing good so something must be working even if all is not as good as you would like.<P>I agree that dealing with his parents is his responsibility. Nothing you can say or do is going to change their opinion of their child or convince them of your merits. With his continued support perhaps they will begin to accept your place and importance in his life. <P>Some period needs to pass for the pain and anger to subside and for you to re-establish your emotional equilibrium. Then decide how you feel and proceed from there. <P>Buffy

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>..I just feel like I am bending myself into pretzels for someone that is only concerned for his own self and does not even care to stand up tell the truth and take responsability for his actions ..<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Paha, I can only commiserate with you. I think I know how you feel. I can relate to your feeling "doing well" but not really doing well. I usually feel like my H thinks about himself and no one else. Before finding MB, I too felt my love decreasing day by day, and I sensed the same from him. In the last two months I've eliminated (try to anyway) LBs, and we get along much better. <P>The problem? I feel like plan a will get me back to where I was before and I still won't be happy. I've taken the ENQ, and my top two needs are financial support and affection. I have serious doubts that my H will ever fulfill those needs. Furthermore, he seems more interested in the status quo. My needs aren't being met, and he doesn't seem to care. <P>There's another thread today from Mike c2 expressing his frustration with plan a. Responses indicated that he needs to give it more time and lower expectations. Well... Paha, you might feel the same way I do about that. I feel like the success of my marriage hinges on me expecting nothing. As long as I expect NOTHING, we get along just fine!! I need more than nothing! I'm exaggerating of course, but in my moments of deepest sadness, that's how I feel. <P>Is that what you meant by "doing well?" ...that you're getting along ok (as in no LBing), meeting his needs as best you can, but your needs seem to get lost in the shuffle? <P>

Deb --<P>Thank you so much. I went and read your thread and my reply and it sounds awful. Sorry it did not come out right. I should go and edit it to what I ment to say. Can you tell I am tired. I came to work today wearing two different shoes. Oh well got to laugh.<P>Deb you are so right about everything. I have no entintions of re-commiting to the relationship as it stands. I told him what he needed to do. To be honest I think he will never stand up to his parents when it comes to me. He lets them trash me. I really need for him to stand up for me and protect me. He just does not understand how important it is for me. I have no intentions of going to Nantucket this summer nor am I planning on spending any holiday time with them for awhile. I super need him to stand up for my honor. I think it is the least he can do for me after all his affairs. <P>I have been thinking about this a lot. I think he really does not honor me. I see from his actions that he disregards my feelings all the time. He knows how to hurt me and he does all the time.<P>Schizzo --<P>Sorry you are having a bad week. (((((Schizzo) a hug always helps. Even when it is cyber. <P>Yes I think I am having a bad week. I just finished finals, working long hours because I have to set up two web servers and a database. Lastly I just purchased a house. I am stressed from all that and then this week Tony has been on the mean side because he feels that I am not doing anything around the house. Right now he does not work and has the time to be at the house fixing it up. Someone has to earn the money to pay for everything.<P>We have also been fighting because his partent's did not want me to purchase the house. I really do not care what they think. It is my money and the house is in my name. <P>This compounded with Tony discussing re-commiting to each other. I have just been loosing it. It has made me think about everything that has been going on. Yes things have been OK but they can be better. He has not really been doing much in the way of working on the affair issues nor his parents. I always ask him how he would feel if my parents did the same thing his parents are doing and he says he would be so angry. But yet I am suppose to deal with it because it is his. Right now I have banned his family from my house. Sounds mean but why deal with it. They are never going to change and my house is for people who like me.<P>buffy --<P>You are so wise. You are right. I have been putting up with a great deal. I am just not willing to put up with it much longer. I have seen him grow but not enough for me. <P>I am guessing you are in the same position. I am sorry that you are. It can be very frustrating. <P>What bothers me the most is the lack of respect he shows me. I have been really trying to find a good time to discuss this with him. It is too long in the cycle of him being nice for awhile and then slipping back to the old selfish Tony.<P>Lonesome --<P>Sorry you are in the same spot. How are you dealing with it? I have been just working on my projects at work and then rushing home and dealing with the house. <P>I wish none of us had to deal with this. It is just too painful!<P>Thank you for empathizing with me. It is nice to be validated in my feelings. I feel that Tony should be willing to do simple things for me such as standing up for me.<P>I think in light of the affair I am just so unwilling to bend anymore. I was talking to a co-worker that is in the same situation and I just stated that for three years I have been treated like dirt why would I be willing to work through this anymore? Love is such a funny thing.<P>Sorry everyone this is so long and does not make since.<P>

Hi Paha,<BR>You've been struggling with these feelings quite awhile. I do too, and I've come to realize it is a form of fence-sitting...our spouses spent a lot of time on the fence, both wanting the marriage and wanting OW. We now want the marriage, but lack the whole-heartedness to give "no matter what" because we've done that and been hurt.<P>I'm not certain what the answer is. I don't want to live my life holding back. For me, I believe the marriage is the right thing--as long as both my H & I are giving 100%, or at least our share. If he doesn't give full effort, I don't feel like it either. Just like you burning him on his Bday, he got what he puts in. But look, you had to plan to do that, it wasn't a natural act, it wasn't looking up at 7 pm & saying with real surprise, "oh, it's your bday?" <P>I truly wonder what I would be like without the pain of the past 2 years. In some ways I am so much more aware of actions and interactions, but feel I've lost something.<P>Nothing to do but live and go forward, whatever that may be.<P>I wish this made as much sense as it does in my head. <P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

Paha,<P>Sorry I was cut short. I remember we came to this site about the same time, but things start blurring together after awhile.<P>Are you married to him?<BR>What renewing is he looking for?<BR>Is he looking for work or what's the deal?<BR>Did he agree with you buying the house?<BR>Is he uncaring or just clueless?<P>I think the answer is to stand back, look at life with/without them and decide if the raw material is there for a really great relationship.<P>I wrote some of my story on one of NoMas' threads. I went against my own feelings throughout this, but I had decided this was what I wanted. Not because I'm a saint.<P>Many men are very clueless. My 35 year old is no more capable of giving me a b-day anything than my 5 year old. I think it is worth working with him. I spell out what I want exactly like I would with my 5 year old. "Tomorrow is my b-day and I want a dozen roses." It's the only way he'll do it. Maybe over time he'll learn, maybe not.<P>Have you been specific with the in-law thing? I think you're right that they are not welcome in your home unless they treat you with respect, but spell it out. "I don't want them to say xyz." Or in my case "I don't want her to take over my kitchen, they must act like guests in OUR home". It really helps if HE will tell them.<P>

Hi Lor,<P>How are you doing? You have not been posting much. I have been thinking about you.<P>You have been in this a wee bit longer than me. I guess I am lucky in the fact that Tony has never left. But then again sometimes I wonder if that has caused more problems.<P>As soon as you discover the meaning of all this let me know. Lor, do not worry you made perfect since. I am the same way. I have lost my innocent love for Tony. I have lost my wonderful belief in people. I know think that everyone is very capable of hurting me. I have lived up here three years and I have made no real friends. I have lived all over and have always made friends very easy. I use to have a happy face now I have a sad face. <P>I miss that. But I am not bouncing back very well from this last go around with Tony. I just can not let him in no matter what is going on. Poor Tony has no idea how much damage he did to my heart with all his affairs and mean hard heart towards me. I feel and think that Tony only stays around because he is affraid he will not find someone new. This thought make me sad.<P>Lor sorry I am being very depressing right now.

(((((((((((((PAHA))))))))))))))<P>that's the best I can do today.. <P>------------------<BR>"The journey into darkness has been long and cruel, and you have gone deep into it."<BR>~ A Course in Miracles

Hi Schizzo,<P>OK Me and Tony. <P>Are you married to him?<P>No we are not married. I try not to really advertise that on this board because for some reason people here that are not married are chastised. I have said we are not married before but I also tend not to say it all the time. Sorry if it seems like I am lying.<P>What renewing is he looking for?<P>He is looking for marriage. When we started to live together we both stated this was it. We are together no matter and we work through everything no matter what. Now he wants to get married. I am not so sure.<P>What is he looking for work or what's the deal?<P>I have no idea what he is looking for. Or why he wants to get married now.<P>Did he agree with you buying the house?<P>Yes he did agree to the purchase of the house. He even went with me to look at some of the houses with me. In fact he was with me when we looked at this house. We discussed it before I made the offer.<P>Is he uncaring or just clueless?<P>I wish I really knew if he was uncaring or clueless. If he was just clueless I have no problem saying...massage my feet now. If he is uncaring I want out of this relationship.<P>I have been distancing myself. I have starting to just worry about work, my education and the house. I have paid for everything in and for this house. I pay all the bills (even his half) and all the work being done on the house. I even paid mopst of the movers. Since December the only thing he has paid is for his own personal bills and fun things he wanted. <P>I think over all Tony is a very selfish person. This is one of the reason why I really went out of my way to ruin his birthday. To show him how much it hurts. I did purchase some nice gift for him and I took him out to dinner but I also LBed all over the place and just made it no fun. I basically treated him like he treats me on my special day. <P>I wish I could say he is clueless but the more I think about it I think he is just a jerk. He does what ever he wants to do. He also is proably a conflict avoider.<P>Like I have told him a million times not to tell me what his Mom says. He does anyways. Second, his Mom is really mean to me when he is not around. So I look like the one causing all the problems. She is still trying to get him to move home and live with them for the rest of his life. <P>All I know if this relationship is just not going to work untill he grows up and becomes an adult. <P>Did I answer all your questions? Please let me know what else what you want to know.

Soulloss,<P>Thank you for the hug. <P>I will hug you right back.<P>((((((soul))))))))<P>We all need lots and lots of hugs.

Paha,<P>You won't get any chastisement from me. In fact after 9 years of marriage, I have sometimes wished we weren't so I could just walk. With kids 3 and 5 it wouldn't be possible anyway, though.<P>I wasn't being nosy. The only question I probably didn't write well was if he is looking for work, why are you carrying the financial side? It must bug you, I've noticed you mentioned it many times.<P>Even in this "modern" world where we are all more "enlightened", I think there is something inside most women that feel men should at least carry their own weight. I had a very good job as the head of the audit group (CPA) before we had kids. But since I realized my real desire was to be a stay-at-home mom, I have a serious need for financial support and don't mind saying so.<P>I believe it is crucial to decide if a man is clueless or a jerk. My guy is mostly clueless, but willing to learn. It took me a very long time to figure this out. I thought he was just so totally selfish.<P>Especially after the infidelity, I felt (still do) totally justified in my committment being to go forward BUT ONLY if we are both living by the Harley rules and seeing progress in our lives. I cannot ever go back to 'till death do us part no matter what you do...<P>It really comes down to: do you think Tony can grow into the man you need for a long-term relationship? I see no point in a committment at this point unless he has demonstrated that. I'm happy to say my h has even though we still have a lot of work to do to build the ole love banks.<P>Maybe it would help if I can think of some ways he is clueless:<P>He told me last week he thought back then when the infidelity started two years ago I would be pissed if I found out. Pissed??? This is a smart man I'm talking about. We were "soul-mates" when we started. My whole life has revolved around this family, leaving my career, etc.<P>I didn't even feel anger at this because he was being really honest about he feels, I just shook my head. He's a lot like my 5 year old.<P>Or we were doing VERY well. Then he went on a trip to Bimbo's country (still had no contact), and came back all distant. Not for one day. I tried to explain it away as work stress, etc, but 5 days later I sat him down and said it just wasn't working. He had no clue what this was doing to me even though I had tried to bring it up.<P>And holidays? Guess he was never raised that way.<P>Actually he was never raised period, which is a lot of the problem. His parents provided a roof over his head, but he raised himself on the streets of NY since he was 12, my family was worse (long stories), but the gist of it is we are both having to make it all up as we go. Sounds like Tony's mom is a real gem! He may not have learned either. He may be teachable, but do you want to?<P>It is worth it for me, especially since I too have a lot to learn. Did you read my reply to Tired Lulu? I think it was really looking at the alternatives that helped me decide, and I have gone all out with Plan A. My sister-in-law has given up and focused her life around other things as you say you've had to do and she is not happy.<p>[This message has been edited by schizzo (edited June 15, 2000).]

Hi Scizzo,<P>I had a well thought out post to reply to you and I lost it. Oh well.<P>The more I think about it I really think Tony is just clueless. His parents really did a number on him. The sad thing is that they still are pushing him into a bad position. They refuse to assist him because anything they do for him might benifit me.<P>Yes the money issue is rather important to me. I have been paying for everything right now. With a great deal of money going into the house it just would be very helpful if Tony would pay his half of the bills right now. I know we have saved a huge amount of money with Tony doing a great deal of stuff around the house...but I have a mini Home Depot store going into that house. <P>His parent's did not want me to purchase this house. Which is too bad for them but I am sick and tired of being told how awful I am and what a money sucking b*$%@ I am. Come on I am paying for everything. I have paid his credit card bills, given him money for gas everything. <P>This bothers me the most is that not only am I paying for everything but Tony refuses to stand up and say hey...shut up you have no idea what you are talking about.<P>Sorry your H is so clueless. I know how it feels. I am tired of raising a child. I want an adult for a change. Sometimes I really day dream about leaving. Well asking him to move out. I have no idea what keeps me in this relationship. I am beginning to see that it might be fear. I am afraid that I will never have someone who loves me. This is the third messed up relationship. <P>I am sorry I am so gloomy. I wish I knew what to do. This mess has been going on far too long. Tony wants to go to therapy. I should be happy but we have gone to five so far and Tony always seems to think that something is wrong with them. This is always when they tell him in essence he needs to grow up and start taking responsability for his actions. I hold no hope except paying for another bill.<P>I know you can tell from my focus but one of my major needs it to know he is financially stable. My sister supports her H, my dad never paid child support and I would rather be with someone responsable then always expecting everyone else to take care of the problems.<P>How are you holding up with you H of late? I do not want you to think that all I care about is myself.<P>

{{{{{{{{Paha}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>I haven't been replying much lately but have been thinking of you.<P>The birthday incident made me smile a little. Yes I admit it, the nasty side of me is rearing it's head. Funny how they can be so neglectful for so long and not even notice. Of course my B-day is during hunting season so that pretty much settles what will be done for me.<BR>I have lowered my expectations a lot. It seems though that the less I expect, the more H gives. I actually cancelled Mother's Day last year. I told him that every single occasion had been tainted by the Bimbo and I was not interested in tainting any more. That upset him quite a bit. <P>Paha, marriage vows are not going to make anything better. I think Tony needs to understand that the problems need to be addressed first. <P>The verbal abuse is not acceptable. People are attracted to those who make them feel good about themselves. That's what he needs to do if he wants your love. It's his responsibility to make you feel good about yourself. Not destroy your self esteem even more.<P>Take care of yourself girl. You need to. <BR>I haven't said anything here that you didn't already know. I just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you.<P>Wassi

Hi Wassy,<P>How are you doing? I have been thinking about you.<P>You are so true. I have really been putting my foot down to the verbal abuse. I have to put my foot down for myself as well. I have LBed the other night at Home Depot. I was really mean. I apologized and I am trying not to do it.<P>I have made plans for us to ether go to the beach or the water park tomorrow. It has been so cold that this is the first chance to do either. That way neither of us are working on the house.<P>How is your H doing with meeting more of your needs. I have always hoped that he would come around for you.

Paha, if you've gone to 5 counselors, did you like any of them? An option is to go to counseling by yourself. Guard & I have both seen our counselor individually because even though we NEED marriage counseling our individual issues are very different.<P>I do believe there is a "no doormat" way to do Plan A and also a way to respectfully state your needs and opinions without LB. But for me, it has always been a very tricky path, hit a little PMS along with the stress and AGGRUFF, I've taken a bite out of my H.<P>As for Tony's family, would a polite, "I don't see how that is any of your business." be a good response?<P>Re-evaluating your path is not a bad thing. I think we all need to do it periodically to make sure we are headed where we want to be.

Paha, things with my h are going really well these past few days, thanks for asking.<P>He is getting some clues, it seems to happen more when I'm not expecting much. He surprised me today. I woke up in the middle of the night soooo tired. My 3 year old was sitting on the potty crying for someone to wipe her. At 3 am!<P>Not sure what is causing her to wake up, but it has been several nights of waking.<P>Anyway, this morning he dressed, fed and took the kids to school all by himself. When I woke up, they were gone, I felt rested and he was telling me how special I am! You just never know.<P>Not sure if the focus of "therapy" isn't totally different than what the Harleys do. We worked with Jennifer and she was really more of a mediator. It really helped him to have another woman (and she is professional and caring and tough at the same time) tell him what he needed to be doing.<P>She held us both accountable for drafting a plan and following through week by week for awhile. Whether you do it with or without help, it may be time to negotiate the ground rules of the relationship. Mjingit has a good thread over in recovery raising these questions.<P>Hope it helps some. If you really are considering spending money on this anyway, please try Jennifer. And let him know this is a last attempt to save the relationship (if you feel that way) so he can't put her down, etc.<P>So you want an adult? Let me know if you ever meet one. After all I've seen on MB, I think I've got a good one. But I think they are all mostly clueless. Something about their left and right brain not being connected. (I'm ducking, EXCEPT the wonderful men here at MB, there.) <P>------------------<BR>Cindy

Lor,<P>How are you doing? I hope things between Guard and you are going well.<P>I am trying to be a bit more forcefull in expressing how I fell. I tried Plan A and I tried Tough Love Plan A. I found that Tough Love Plan A worked the best. I stopped doing it for awhile because I thought things were getting better. <P>Tony is the type of person who really needs a kick in the pants. I just can not act like I like his little kid antics. I likes some of the counselors. He was good with the first pair, the second he stormed out on, third never showed up so we dropped him, fourth was to stressful for both of to go to (road construction) and he hated number five. Number five thought he would never grow up and would always cause problems in the relationship. Tony wants to go this time. I just want someone who will really help us. I do not want to go in and have a grip feast. I want solutions.<P>As far as his family. I just do not talk to them anymore. Yesturday his Mom called I answered the phone. She started to tell me what I should not do for the house and I just handed the phone to Tony. I have told her and given them their boundries on several occations. They just do not listen...so I gave up.

Hi Cindy,<P>I am glad your H is getting a clue. Nothing like getting nice thoughtfull acts of kindness from your H. That is so nice of him. I hope your baby goes back to sleeping through the night. I think they just go through phases.<P>Did you really like going the Harley's? I have thought about it just because it would be phone and we both could work it into our schedual easier. I am going to try and look into it. My insurance, with the new company, is not that great and I have a feeling that we would be paying anyways. Do you mind answering how much it would cost and the like? <BR>