What do u guys think. you may want to read my previous thread. (throwing in the towel)<P>This may help. I want to make this work. he use to love it when we played the dating thing. Me come in get ready. And be a surprise for him when he came in. <BR>What if I lived in the other room for a bit. And I just stayed with my family of the afternoon whem he is with his dad. I love my famly. My mother is alone now. She needs me. <BR>Then he could see that I haev a hetic schedule to. Then he may appreciate time and me more. I can just tell him that I wan tto start from the beginning. (he is going to think I have really lost my mind)<BR>I just want to rekindle this special thing we had.<BR>Suggestions?<P>------------------<BR>We can do all things through Christ which strengthens us. Repeat that 5 times a day. I promise you success!

Inamess,<P>I don't know you whole story, although I've been here less that one month longer than you have, now I just lurk most of the time.<P>You said a couple of things that caught my attention:<P>In the "Throwing in the Towel" thread:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>IM SICK OF LIMBO!!!! I need LOVE and AFFECTION! Gosh! I wish I had kids to occupy my time.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I have discussed this with him for years. IM TIRED OF DISCUSSING!!!! IM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED!!</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <P>Limbo is a terrible place to be... you are there but you aren't; your are out of there but not quite; and he... he is but isn't either. We all need love and affection; your H does just like you, but I think that in your case you'll have to reverse roles and start your own Plan A (LOVE)- no discussion but SHOWING LOVE. Kids are not for us to occupy our time... if you had kids you wouldn't change your H's (sick) (dependency?) attachment to his dad.<P>In this thread:<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>I want to make this work. he use to love it when we played the dating thing... What if I lived in the other room... And I just stayed with my family of the afternoon whem he is with his dad. I love my famly. My mother is alone now. She needs me... </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><B>...I can just tell him that I wan tto start from the beginning... I just want to rekindle this special thing we had. </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Play "the dating thing", we all love it, BUT my suggestion would be don't take on your mother like he is taking on his pop, how old are your mom and his father anyway, are they too old? too sick? too jealous? Your parents could play an important part on healing your relationship if you both recognize the need for this, and <B>help them as a family thing</B> (your mom, his dad, with both of you helping them BOTH)... <P>Start from the beginning, but DON'T TELL HIM, just do it. Do you remember those things, little details that used to light your flame and his? go for it!... <P>And LAST BUT NOT LEAST... As sad or cruel as it may sound, DON'T TRY TO REKINDLE THE OLD RELATIONSHIP, that one is gone, finito, it ended, you may as well lite a candle for it's over. <B>you can and must, however</B> try to start a whole new relationship with him under a new light of friendship, love, respect, forgiveness, cooperation, and eventually... sooner or later... TRUST. <P>God bless you, HE is in you, not Satan, evil cannot exist per se, it is the absence of God just as darkness does not exist, for it is absence of light. Just the same way than darkness disappears as soon as you let some light crack into a dark room, any evil is gone as soon as you raise a prayer from the bottom of your heart. Don't fear.<P>FINALLY, if your efforts don't result at least you'll know that you tried, and the result will be a new, stronger, better Inamess. , with no regrets.<P>Alex<P>------------------<BR><B>Live fully and always learn</B>

We lived separately in our house for a couple weeks--different reasons than you are stating though, he wanted his freedom, maybe wanted the marriage, but we'd already been separated twice and knew that didn't help. It was awful. I was still a wife, my H acted like a boarder.<P>Dating is fun, you can do that without going to separate bedrooms.<P>Visiting with your mom sounds fine...maybe the two of you could find some project together? I know I'd go crazy sitting & talking with my Mom (love her dearly!) everyday, doing nothing else. Would she like to go to the gym? Even senior citizens benefit with exercise, especially women.<P>One thing I see in your post, you are searching for solutions, good for you!<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10