Just a quick update...<P>The last time I talked/saw my H was on August 13th, since then I have been deliberately ignorng his emails and phones calls (last attempt from him was Tuesday 8/15).<P>I'm not in Plan B yet, I'm just trying to get myself emotionally well and strong and then see if I should migrate to Plan B. But in the meantime this withdrawal is torturous.<P>I imagine so many things ... he and OW getting closer and closer and my H thinking I no longer care about him. Plus I start to think he doesn't even miss me REALLY, that he only wanted me there as a security blanket just in case he and the Banshee didn't work out.<P>Well, I just wanted to offer an update and maybe whine a little.<P>No solid news from the Doc's as yet. Will keep you updated.<P>Jo<P>p.s. Anyone wanna bet on "when" you think H will make contact? You could win a Starbucks! <P>p.p.s Hey ... would very much like to know who posted a thread regarding a "Crockpot" being a trigger for bad memories of an A. Both Lora and I were discussing it last night and we're dieing to know "why" it's a trigger.<P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"<p>[This message has been edited by Resilient (edited August 26, 2000).]

Jo,<BR>Trying to give me a little compitition for my starbucks huh? Him and OW getting closer????? Thats a laugh, you know if he tried to get her to meet all his needs he would run away screaming.<P>See post below about crockpots.<P>Lora

Hey, before I put in MY bet, what are the rules? (RULES?..There ARE no rules in knife fights!!) <BR>I mean, are YOU controling when? Or is it a legit pool? If not, then I bet your just gonna play favorites!! <P>rrunrr<BR>ps. what are you waiting to hear from the doc?<BR><P>------------------<BR>Almost anything can be undone or forgiven.<P>Never take trust for granted.

I wish I knew what to tell ya. I often think to it will be so much easier when H is gone from the house. He kind of comes and goes now and that is so hard. <P>You need to do what you feel is best for you. Listen to your gut instinct, your first reaction. Don't let your heart talk your mind out of what is right.<P>Jill

Now, Jo, lets get real.<P>You know and I know that the possibility of H staying with OW permanently is non-existent. Just a matter of his having enough. And let me assure you, nothing is harder on H/OW relationship then being together without you being there as the relief valve. Remember OW is not you...can't ever be...and he can't ever forget that.<P>You are being so strong this time...it will pay off in time...just hang in there.<P>Buffy<P><p>[This message has been edited by buffy (edited August 25, 2000).]

I'll bet he tries to make contact the day you drive up to Paradise Lodge on Mt. Ranier. How about Saturday?

If he starts thinking you don't care about him anymore, that could be a good thing. It could make him think that you have someone else or that he just doesn't mean that much to you anymore. It *could* be a way of getting his attention. So, nothing else has worked. Why not give the silent treatment a chance? My H is obsessed with the thought of me dating! ha! He thinks I am having more fun than he is and spending time with someone who is more meaningful than a giggling wad of chewing gum and hair with a drink in her hand. <P>How long does it take for reality to set in? I guess it's different for everybody, but in our case, it seems it has taken 7 months of living with the OW. I strongly suspect that she has either moved out or is getting ready to. The STBX is calling me for things I know he used to ask her for. He is calling all the time, in fact. He asked me about moving back home a week or so ago...<P>While I wouldn't go so far as to say that he is declaring his undying love and saying he made a mistake, I would bet my life that he is feeling it. He's been through so many women who turned out to be liars, selfish, whores, and whatever else he found to be undesirable. It wasn't so easy to replace me in the house, the bedroom, or in his heart after all, was it?<P>Jo, hang in there. The withdrawal does get easier. Start an exercise program, do some artwork, clean your house from top to bottom- do anything that will absorb you and see how good it feels at the end of the day to not have spent your time thinking about the H. Maybe when you get a little distance, you will see that he isn't worth all the agony?<P>It all has a way of working out in the end- one way or another. There is peace at the end of this journey.