OK HE MESSED UP BIG TIME OVER AND OVER AGAIN ......now he seems to want everyone to feel sorry for him and i do, but is it just his way of controlling me emotionally still ? how do i stay strong for me and the children?

Hey there, just peeked at your other post & know where you are coming from. I am Catholic, married to an Italian (from Jersey no less), and have 2 kids. I had one other serious relationship before him though so I guess I am experienced compared to you He may be sorry, but if he has kept having affair after affair, he may have a sexual addiction. My husband did the sexual addiction questionare I found on the net, and he scored REALLY high. If your husband is saying that he wants things to be fine again try to see if he will work with you with the Priest, do the questionare for sexual addiction, try and work this marriage builders program thing. I am not an expert at anything, I have learned more and more that I know less and less. As for the emotionally controlling thing that is something you need to decide. You know him best. Do you really think that he might be? He could be.... Stay strong for you and your children by doing what you feel is right and what you know you want to do. I am staying and working on things because that is what I know is right. Doing something that you feel is right makes you strong. Take care of your kids like you always have, and remind yourself that you are doing what you think is right. Follow your heart, and make a plan.<BR>Elizabeth

thanks I have decided that our relationship just can't be fixed he will never change and i am hopeful that i will have the love from a man that i can trust in the future .<P> His affairs , he tells me are of the emotional kind , he said they were not physical (do i believe him? no ) i can not trust anything he says because he has lied and made promises and always breaks them . <P>He has always tried to control me. I have taken back my heart and i really just want to go on and be truly happy. He just brings me down everytime we are togeather all his friends won't talk to him , his parents denied him their help.<P> he is all alone he only has me to talk to now and i being the good person i am i want to help but at what cost? after all i am the one he has betrayed, i am the one he neglected all these years , i am the one who has been hurt by him sooooo many times , he is just no good for me a very toxic person. how am i gonna move on if he keeps dragging me down? <P>He has always wanted what he doesn't have until he gets it and then he wants something else.