I kissed another man at a party and my husband saw me. I have dealt a deadly blow to my H and may have ruined my M. I don't know what to do to make it better. The guilt I feel is overwhelming, but nothing, I am sure, compared to the pain I have inflicted upon him. We have been married for a year and a half, hardly time for something like this to be happening already. I don't want this to kill my marriage, but I don't know how to convince him that I have learned from this mistake, and not only do I not want to EVER be responsible making him feel this way,but that I too can not live with this kind of guilt. I can't think of anything else, and wish so much that I never would have done this. If only I could go backwards in time...<P>He told me that he can not live without me, but that he does not trust me, and he does not know how to get the trust back. I suggested seeing a therapist, but he said he had to get through this on his own. Does anyone know how we can get through this alone, without the help of a professional? I don't know if he will go see someone. <P>One of my friends who knows about this asked me if I have some sort of need for affection from other men. I don't know that. She suggested that maybe my H does not fulfill some "need", but there is no way that I could or would suggest my behavior was a result of something that he did (or didn't do). I couldn't - - he is in so much pain, and nothing I can say seems to help at all. Someone once told me that I should see someone about my self esteem problem - could my behavior be a result of a lack of self esteem? Why would I do something like this to the man who loves me more than anything in the world? And what is worse, is why would I do it under the same roof as him? Anyone with some advice that can help us? I read another post from a man who had done this to a woman, does the advice from everyone else apply to me as well? I will do anything to prove my love and help him to forgive me.<p>[This message has been edited by madeamistake (edited December 18, 2000).]