I will be heading home tomorrow to spend the holiday with my family and my office is closed all next week (no internet access - ACK!), so I just wanted to wish everyone the best holiday possible.<P>I know we are all dealing with difficult, if not unbearable, circumstances. Please gather around with your families & friends and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas (or whatever holiday you're celebrating). No matter who we are or what we have done, God loves us.<P>I pray that we all find peace and happiness this holiday season. <P>I'll see you all in 2001... unless Santa leaves a computer under my tree Monday and I can log in before the new year!! <P>Hopefully 2001 will bring us all many more smiles than tears.<P>I love you all and thank you for your help and support.<P>lost_in_love<BR>p.s. SS4N - I know it's not the 28th yet, but Happy Anniversary <hug>

Merry Christmas L_I_L,<P>I hope you find more than a computer under your tree. I hope you find peace, clarity of thought, and whatever it is you are missing in your life.<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Merry Christmas Sweetie! <P>Its been a heck of a year. But we have survived it. We are both alive, we both still love each other, and we can still save this marriage if we both want to. I can't fight much longer without you though. All I want for Christmas this year is an honest chance for us to try and work this thing out, without the OM in the picture. It doesn't matter how much I love you, or you me, there is no room for HIM in US.<P>I tried hard, did a pretty good Plan A for a long time. When I thought you were actually moving to be with him, I gave up and slipped into an affair of my own. I had fun, but I never felt like I do when I am with you. I know you have to deal with the fact I have been with another also. It was wrong for me to do it, but I at least hope you understand.<P>The important thing is that I am back to my old self. OW has been gone for a few weeks, driven away because I refused to stop thinking about, seeing, and talking to you. I know that it just doesn't matter what we have done, I still love you like no other in my life, and that I never lost that feeling. <P>In many ways it would be easier if we just drifted apart. But that is not God's will. We took vows, and I hope we can get back to them again soon. The one thing to remember is that if we get divorced, we won't see each<BR>other or be friends. I think that is why I could nevber just let you go and complete moving on. I can't picture a life without you in it.<P>I know this is long winded, but I want you to understand what I am saying. If there is any doubt that I am willing to try......this should end it. I still will go to counselling with you, work on issues, I read HNHN. I will still do whatever I can to pull us through, but I have to know that OM is gone. I wish I could be unconditional, but as long as there is contact there, I can not do this.<P>I pray for you to have the strength to end this thing come back to me...<P>I love you, M!<P>AMLF+3,<P>Joel

L-I-L, SS4N<P>Hey guys! I'm getting ready to leave my in-laws, but couldn't help but logging on to lurk. I know it's Christmas, but you all feel like family. SS4N, I think you are incredible, but you already know that. LIL, you know what you need to do, you can get through this and save your marriage and build an even stronger one, it is possible, believe me. <P>Enjoy the holidays, but know that I am here if you need to talk.