My H's XOW sent me a very long, detailed letter outlining her EMR with my H about a month and a half ago. I acknowledged her letter via email, thanked her for being honest, and then thought that was the end of it. I was very nice to her, and very understanding, so there was no need for her to be angry with me. However, she's now been calling and leaving nasty messages on his voicemail. There are also an abundance of "anonymous" calls on the phone, sometimes one every hour. H refuses to answer his cell phone when he sees the "anonymous" listed on the little screen. He tells me about the calls and what she says. He seems at wit's end, sometimes almost like Michael Douglas, ala "Fatal Attraction" - he's thinking about writing her a letter of apology, hoping that will get her to stop. At first, I was for this, but now I think that that might "open a door" for her to re-enter our lives again.<P>Why is this happening? The last time he saw her (briefly, and in the presence of others), was in early August. They stopped seeing each other as OW and MM in February of 2000, almost a year ago, but had on-off "friendship" contact until things began to peter off, ending around mid-May. This is getting ridiculous. How long is she going to hold onto this? <P>Any advice? Should we continue to ignore this? We also get a lot of funny phone calls on our home phone as well, but it's mainly limited to his cell phone.<P>Thanks ...<P>belld

I happen to be up pretty early today thanks to a prank caller, a man, who calls in the middle of the night or predawn and wakes me up with, "bueno." That is it. I am so tired of the prankster!<P>As far as your prankster, I would settle a restraining order on her. If she still is in the office, file a sexual harassment suit against her. Give her the message that her conduct is not acceptable. She is the loser here, and she must move on without your H!! Be sure that your H is the one to file! So she cannot blame it on you.<P>Change cell phone number.<P>You know? I was just thinking, wouldn't it be great if we BS's could put a restraining order on our WS's OW? I am ready to fly to NY and throttle my H's, I only know where she works, though.

belldandy:<BR>You need to get her where it hurts. Change cell phones and block her on emails. Print any emails she sends your husband and fax them to her supervisor or her husband. <P>Call the police and your lawyer and tell her you will sue her for harrassment if she continues. Embarass her because she looks pathetic, show everyone what she writes to a married man, record her voice mails and forward back to her with an introduction that states the next one goes to her husband or boss or both.<P>OW and persons involved in affairs are cowards they love the excitement of hiding behind our backs, expose her and she will slink back under the rock she came from<BR><p>[This message has been edited by mrsaxxeman (edited December 26, 2000).]