A little update.....<P>H supposedly broke things off with OW two weeks ago. There has still been contact between them, but it has decreased. According to H, it will be completely stopped when he returns from a business trip on Thursday (we'll see).<P>For the last while, he's been saying that he wants things to get better between us and wants to work on our marriage. However, the last week or so, he's been very irritable and says that he's tried all he's going to and is going to be content with how things are now because he's realized that's all the better it's ever going to get. In other words, he's only here for the kids, not me, and doesn't care about working on our marriage. He's done all that he wants to in that area.<P>Is this coming out of the fog/withdrawal (if it's even started because there's still contact) talk? Will he change his mind and want to start working on things once she's really out of his life?<P>I'm not going to be content with this kind of a life where he does his thing, I do mine, and once in awhile meet in the middle to discuss the kids. I know that I deserve and want better. I want someone to love me.<P>Do I tell him that if this is all the better it's going to get then he can just leave now and hope that a separation will bring him around? It's to the point that I am starting to not feel anything for him anymore but anger and resentment for all that I've had to go through for the last 10 months.<P>I'm just slipping further and further down again. If this is all the better it's going to be, I'd rather be alone.....

<BR>My H is still in the fog and hasn't had contact since Dec 12. He still says things like your H is saying. My H told me this morning he still can't imagine being happy in a marriage with me - and yet on the other hand, admitted that I am very good at meeting some of his needs. <P>I can't speak from experience, but I don't think you can expect him to express any positive feelings towards you right now. <P>Hang in there - my humble and ignorant opinion is that it's too soon for you to decide it's hopeless!

hurtinginil - you know, I have many of the same feelings. My wife has not admitted to ending it with OM, she never admitted there was anything there to begin with, but I think it's basically over and they may be "just friends" now. Anyway she's acting like your H, but doesen't say anything. Just doesn't seem motivated to work on our relationship. She believes that she cannot find the love again. I guess, like your H, this could be withdrawal from US for various reasons, but not necessarily withdrawal from OP - especially if they did the break-up. <P>Now, we are already separated and we now appear to be stagnant - no movement either way. In your case, if you're at the point of losing your love for him, consider getting separated and implementing Plan B. I'm thinking more and more about Plan B lately and I may do it in a month or two if nothing else develops.<P>Dave