My H and I haven't started any counseling, yet. Yesterday was the one month mark of D-day. He never left home and I signed up for the Retrouvaille because my obgyn recommended. I was wondering if anyone else on this forum has participated in this program and what their thoughts are on it, and if they have done any other counseling to go with it..<BR>I want to do this first- learn how to be married in a society that doesn't respect marriage..Then after the six weeks of counseling that goes after the weekend retreat, I'll figure out what to do about further counseling.<BR>I think our major down fall that contributed to my H having an affair with an intern/ student was they were either at work together or school together and the amount of time was enourmous. Us on the other hand- we saw each other 2 hours at night and half the weekend--we didn't have any dates or private time the entire semester...So, it was like we weren't even together...We are now putting a lot of effort in finding time to be together...Even though it has been only a month, we are persevering quite well..We just need help to heal and love the right way from now on..<BR>Thanks

I am signed up to go to the retreat in early March. I have heard nothing but praise on the retreat, that it is intense and really focuses on the commumication within a marriage. I visit a few of these boards and got alot of feedback on it. The post here is entitled "Any info/comments regarding Retovaille?" which I posted Dec. 12 2000. I don't know how to set up a link but you can search under my name and it should pull up. NSR left me some good links in the replys. When are you schedualed to go? I hope this helps us as much as it seems to help others.

Hi. Yes, we have been to Retrouvaille. Went to the retreat in Jan in Owensboro KY and are now in the follow ups. It is a great way to share ina non threatening way. There were about 30 other couples who seemed just like us- nice people. It focused on sharing and explaining feelings. My husband, who normally ignores me and refuses to speak & participate in anything, loved it! He said it was better than most counseling he's ever had. Of course, we are still seeing our regular counselor in hopes of resolving the issue of his clandestine relationship with his ex (no kids) that is on going and was supposed to be over in 1995. Best of luck to you. Retrouvaille is very supportive. Peace.

We are going tomorrow..I am excited about it. The statistics of its success rate is what got my attention..They must be doing something right..<BR>My h told his mom we were going to counseling, he didn't tell her he had an A, and I don't think she would handle that knowledge well at all.<BR>She told him she had a friend that goes every year to a retreat like that..I would never had thought about something like that, before the A.<BR>Looks like some people know how to invest in their marriage..<BR>Thats what we are doing tomorrow-investing in our marriage!!!

Just wanted to say how uplifting and positive your attitude it. Thank you for sharing this part of your life. -LL

Crete:<P>Sending good wishes your way for your Retrouvaille experience. My husband and I attended in March 1999 and we are into Year TWO of our recovery. It certainly gave our reconciliation a boost that might have otherwise taken longer.<P>Retrouvaille is French for 'Rediscovery' and the weekend is a very intense exchange between yourself and your spouse. You will be asked a series of questions and asked to write your responses from your heart. At the end of the weekend, we were asked to present our spouse with our notebook as our gift to them...a kind of unveiling of our hearts to each other.<P>The success rate is around 90% from what I have heard...pretty good odds, n'est pas?<P>Have a wonderful and enlightening weekend, Mon Ami!<P>Catnip =^^=