My wife called me on her way home from work today. I put the kids on, because that is usually why either one of us calls the other (other than her calls to me to be nasty over something). She said "sure, put them on...but I just called because I'm on my way home from work and was bored". It is a 5 minute drive.<P>Now, don't worry, I'm just continuing as though there is no meaning to all this, but she said "maybe we could get together sometime this week, IF you want to, but if you are not interested, then that is OK". I said yes, let me know a day that is good for you, and she said "maybe Friday". This is rather odd.<P>The second part kind of shocked me. I was telling her about a practical joke me and a co-worker did this weekend at work. I keep telling her I love my job and the people I work with, and I'm enthusiastic about it all. She then said "I'm really happy for you. You seem really happy now, even happier than all the time we were together". I was afraid I wasn't doing enough in Plan A, and perhaps I'm not, but for her to say this means that some of my attempts at being my best are being seen by her.<P>I didn't have breakfast with her today. Slept in to recover from being out last night.<P>Anyway, I hope she doesn't get carried away with thinking I'm happier than ever before, because then she might think I'm better off without her....know what I mean? Regardless, it is a good thing whichever way you slice it and regardless of what the future holds, because it is good for ME!<P>Beep....beep.....beep.....is there a sign of life on Planet Fog?<P>Anyway, I'm not expecting anything out of this, but it does energize my resolve to continue doing what I'm doing. But strangely enough, I'm not really preoccupied with trying to win her back, I'm just trying to have fun and be happy.<P>Yesterday nasty, last night rather unfriendly, today more friendly. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.<P>Just to keep it in perspective, she is still changing her name on stuff, talking about a real separation agreement, and planning trips to relatives without me...as of yesterday anyway.<P>Oh, another funny thing. March 17, she claims she has an appointment in the afternoon, and would like me to watch the kids (she has them then). Once they get here they don't want to leave, so that is usually her way of getting the night off. I suspect she wants to go to the St. Patrick's day festivities. But guess what.....I'm going out that night so I'll be telling her that I'm free till 5PM.<P>I did call her tonight to finish the conversation we had today, because I was about to tell her some stuff about being happy, but had to help my daughter. Just wanted to clarify how I've felt about the past 10 months or so, so she knows that I'm not happy about us being split up, but that I am doing things that are good for me bla bla bla. She wasn't home.<P>sing: I did the popcorn thing, and the kids loved it. They want to do it again. It is all over the floor and counter, so I'll go clean up soon. I told my wife about this in the message I left.<P>One more silly thing. My friend has two friends that are identical twins, and good looking. He asked me if I want to enlist their services and go somewhere my wife is at with them by my side. I declined but had a good laugh over it.<p>[This message has been edited by Rick37 (edited March 04, 2001).]

Glad your kids liked the popcorn.<BR> :<P>

Rick, Keep up the good work! I doubt that her interest in your happiness is to be able to feel less guilty about leaving you behind. I think it really gets to them when you're having a good time, even though they won't acknowledge any responsibility for why you might not be feeling great. I went to a workshop in a neighboring town last weekend. Since I was doing Plan B at the time and my H doesn't talk to the kids, he didn't know my plans. Today he admitted he'd dreamed up a whole scenario about a new boyfriend I'd met in that town - he even had a description, career, interests, and his size, and I don't mean shoes!<P>Great plan for St. Patrick's Day - stick to it!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rick37:<BR><B>One more silly thing. My friend has two friends that are identical twins, and good looking. He asked me if I want to enlist their services and go somewhere my wife is at with them by my side. I declined but had a good laugh over it.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Strange isn't it? When my wife was in her lovenest with OM, I seriously considered hiring a model to answer the door in a negligee when she brought the kids home from her evening with them. I thought that it might shock her into reality that she was seriously running out of time...<P>After she moved back home, she told me that if I had done this, that she never would have moved back. It seems (to me) that it would be because I had "moved on". Seems that when the fence straddling is occuring, and they're being pummelled by guilt, shame, societal disapproval, etc., the FS must be a rock for them. Damn, it was hard, but they've (WS) have so much baggage and fear to overcome just to even converse with you that you HAVE to be 1000 times more saintly than you've ever been in your life just to have a conversation.<P>Hang in there! I did, for 5 months of separation, before she moved back home to me and my boys.<P>Bama<P>p.s. Zoloft truly helps<P>

Rick - good assessment. Send your friend's twin friends down to me.<P>Dave

This sounds encouraging, Rick. Maybe she's beginning to see that OM is not the man of her dreams after all.<P>Keep up the good work!!

Rick -<P>Doesn't seem like I've posted to you in a while, bu tI just wanted to encourage you to keep up the good work. I think you're really showing her that you can survive without her in your life (showing strength, self-esteem, confidence) but yet you are still showing her that you want her in your life. I'm glad you passed on the breakfast - just because I think you need to go out and have some fun with your friends - you need to build up your support system for those tiems when she's in her nasty moods. I like your thoughts on March 17 - hold her to her commitments, but be nice about it. Tough love.<P>Anyway, I think your wife is running the gamut of emotions. I, too, think it's a good sign that maybe the OM is not all he's cracked up to be - but maybe not. That's why it's important not to read into what she says or does - don't get your hopes up. Just focus on you, plan A, plan A, plan A. I think you can Plan A, not LB, and still hold your wife to her commitments - kids, money, etc. . .<P>Anyway, just wanted to say hang in there, don't think too much and take care of yourself!