Hello,<P>Need some words fo wisdom.<P>Affair has been one year; h. has filed for d. and stopped it twice. At present time, there is still no action. I do want to try to reconcile; i fully understand that he has to want it also; so, until...SHOULD I MAKE MY CASE AGAINST DIVORCE?<P>Book I read: CAse AGainst Divorce by Diane Medved<P>Would like to put it in his hands; would this be a major mistake; in fog, wouldn't read it? <P>Should I write and give him some some of the reasons why divorce is not the answer?<P>Looking for replys, thanks elo.

I dont know anything about that book. But I know with my H it seems the more I push, the more he retreats. I think you arguing against divorce may be the thing to make him want it while he is in the affair. i think the Harleys passive resistance is a better method. It sounds like your H is already not going forward with the divorce, so just make him be the one to move it forward and it may never happen.<BR>Lora

It's not only a LB to try to "educate" your spouse but dam near impossible to get them to absorb any type of self-reflection type material. Remember that that fog not only clouds their view of the people around them but also makes that image in the mirror look hazy at best.<P>Doesn't seem right that they can be at their worst on self-reflection at a time when the BS is probably at an all time high, but that is my observation.<P>How bout making your case based on your feelings alone about some new information that you have discovered. Try using a sales like "I'd love to tell you what's in the box (book) but I can't" <P> I'm haven't read any of your historical details and how appropriate this next suggestion is but I'll throw it out anyway. It's kind of "over the top". Before mentioning the ideas you have, seduce him in the most erotic way you can that stretches the envelope for him. Your goal would be to have him say something to the effect of "Wow!!!! Where did that come from????" You can tell him from this great divorce prevention book you've been reading. I'm sure what ever you have to say will be heard. Maybe a little "You would not believe what else is in there" Just make sure you wrote your own short chapter "erotic love letter" on the last few blank pages. Might be a bit on the devious side but I would doubt that he would consider it a LB. Even if it doesn't work, he'll more than likely have a fond memory of your attempt. It also would give you a great opening line to use down the road "I just stated reading this new book and It'll blow you away" (so to speak).<P>BTW - This last suggestion is dedicated to my new MB posting guru, Scott (Promised Forever). LOL<P>Happy Friday,<BR>Mike<BR>