HI Hopelessmom,<BR>I am not sure I can help you at all my dear, but am happy to listen and try!<BR>My h is a serial cheater, sexual addict, or as some say "a slut". He has/had a number of affairs during our marriage-at least 23, but who's counting! I never knew about the affairs until the last one. I likely would not have caught him then if he had not taken sick from it. I totally trusted my h and he never gave me any reason not to.<BR>Sure there were some strange things over the yrs, but he always had a good explanation for everything. He travels a lot, so opportunity was there too. I am not naive, just trusted him totally! <BR>Initially he stopped because he was sick. That is clear to me. But he states he would have stopped at any time had he known how devastating it would be to me. He claims he did not know I would be so hurt since he always loved me and had no intention of leaving the marriage. He maintains he did this for the sexual experience, for the diversion (like a hobby?!), for the excitement. There were women he saw occ over a few yr time period, old girlfriends, lots of one night stands, weekends together while he traveled, etc. It never really invaded my family. He would stay a few days over while traveling, but I had no idea he did not need to be there! He would not answer in his hotel room, but I thought he was just out with the guys or out to dinner, movie, etc. <BR>Basically the fog lifted for him because he was sick and I was heartbroken! There were many times when I took care of him and wanted to strangle him!!! He has now had 3 surgeries to repair the damage from the last affair.<BR>Does that help you understand him any better? <BR>I am not sure that 2 affairs and living with the second constitutes a sexual addict. The pros tell me that there will be setbacks, slipups-as they call them. Nice term for a major faux-pas huh? They tell me to expect them and to be patient. Thank goodness no one told him that. I am not sure I am willing to do this again. <BR>((((((((hugs))))) Hang in there. It does get better. cl
