Terrified,<P>Honestly, I'm not sure that this is a good idea at this point in your marriage. I know that the idea of getting away from home and going someplace else is idea for an anniversary for people w/ functional marriages. But have you thought how this isolation will affect you and your daughter, should you and H get into it about his EMR? Could be best to stick close to home and maybe have a dinner out someplace. You might find yourself overwhelmed by feelings of hopelessness if you make your anniversary an "event," and your H doesn't participate. I know, I've been there ...<P>Last year when H was still in contact w/ the XOW, we did not really "celebrate" our fifth anniversary as we normally would have. I wanted to renew our vows, small ceremony, good friends, get-together at a cozy restaurant, etc. I had all of the hope in the world that if we only tried to put our marriage back together and take that leap of faith, that everything would be okay. I didn't know squat. That idea was shot down with dispatch by H, quite vitriolically. This was a big red flag that he was still engaged w/ XOW to an unhealthy degree. Now I know that had the XOW found out about us celebrating with friends in any capacity, she prolly would have gone ballistic on H's a** (can't say that I blame her, that would really make me mad too if I were an OW still in the picture). So my desire to celebrate anniversaries still isn't up to par. I want to be able to have something to celebrate, but my feelings of last year, knowing that my H and XOW were still seeing each other (even if on a nonsexual basis), has dimmed my enthusiasm, and I no longer feel the need to go all out and make our anniversary special. I'm hoping that this will change in a few years, after the pain has gone. <P>Hope this helps ...<P>belld
