<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>

OOOO - you know? In a way we can play the grass is always greener, too. I'm not sure which of us is better off. I'm tempted to say I'd trade places with you any day, but I know we shouldn't compare apples and aliens. I'd love to get some 37 page letters and hear the R word. Truth is, even with the similarities, we each have different challenges. Yep, it looks like you can't Plan B, alright. Blessing or obstacle?<P>I think you're supposed to Plan A and bite your tongue. If you didn't have kids it'd be different - you could leave when you were drained. Please don't leave now. The aliens are always greener in the other posts.<P>Dave (WAT)

OOOO<P>My situation is similar to yours....my H has also not left - although he says he has no interest in working on the marriage and that he will be moving out soon. He also is having no contact with the OW - not since October. So how can I plan B if there is no OW? <P>I'm like you - stuck in plan A until I get it right!

And I feel like I'm plan A'ing but should be B'ing. He hasn't left. And he's still in contact with OW. H can talk very dispassionatly about how hurt I am by this, but he's never raally loved me and just doesn't want to be married anymore.<P>I'm not sure how to make it until A ends...<P>------------------<BR>See each day as a new beginning!<P>Cali

Well, I don't even know what to say. I can't seem to either plan A or plan B appropriately... And H doesn't live here and hasn't for a year and a half, but I see him almost daily. He doesn't live with OW either. They seem to have a daytime relationship, but they have a son together!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <P>She has taken office wife to the extreme. He won't give heer up, because he "needs" her to work!!!!!!!!! But I'm sure she is saying she won't work with him if he comes back.<P>And I'm sure he has no clue what the heck to do about "their" child. <P>And I'm pretty much stuck.... trying to make it all right for my kids.<P>I haven't read any updates from you. I wondered if you replied to her last letter, or just are waiting.<P>I'm thinking, but do not know for sure, that the best sort of plan b from you at this point is to not reengage emotionally until she reaches more of a middle ground with you....

OOOO,<P>Our situations are each unique in their own way, despite underlying commonality in many. There is no better, just different.<P>You've got your wife home, so can Plan A her there.<P>We all do what we can.<P>

<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>

I'm with you, man. The past few months, I've let OM affect me and get me mad. Of course, thre was the incident when he tried to intimidate me with his car after I stood in the street with my ferocious 7 pound dog.<P>We need to rise above this.<P>Just wanted to tell you I feel the same way sometimes.<P>Dave

<p>[ January 09, 2002: Message edited by: OffOnOnOff ]</p>