No, I'm not trying to fill the first page with my own posts <P>As you may know now, my wife is saying she is going to get a roommate to help her to make it financially. I'm sure she'd rather I offer more $$. <P>I won't be doing that. However, what do I do? I don't want a roommate there given we have joint custody. Anyone else faced this? Am I making more of it than what it really is? I just don't like the sounds of it. You never know what the person will be like.<P>A friend that knows my situation suggests telling her I'm not comfortable with it, and leave it at that. She'll fire back about lack of money. The friend thinks then I ask for a budget of her monthly expenses and see where we are at. I know that isn't as per MB.<P>Comments?<P>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rick37:<BR><B>A friend that knows my situation suggests telling her I'm not comfortable with it, and leave it at that. She'll fire back about lack of money. The friend thinks then I ask for a budget of her monthly expenses and see where we are at. I know that isn't as per MB.<P>Comments?<P></B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>i am not sure why you believe it isnt per MB, this sounds very POJA to me.<P>do you believe that your wife is incapable of screening a roommate?<P>what kind of roomate would you approve of? whould she let you participate in their selection?<P>try to be realistic about what her finacial needs are and how able you are to meet those, along with the idea that an agreed upon roomate might take a burden off both of you.<P><BR><P>------------------<BR>in loving service<BR>chaz

Your W made the decision to leave. She has to own up to her responsibilities. And you know what? She's only going to do what she wants to do anyways. IMO, if she really didn't want a roommate, then wouldn't she just ask you for more money? <P>I know it's a tough spot for you. You are thinking of your kids. I can totally relate to that.<P>My H has a roommate now. And much to my chagrin, it's a woman. I do believe that they are strictly roommates, and nothing more. I have no reason to believe otherwise. And I cannot waste my energy worrying about the unknown.<P>I don't know this woman. All I know is that she's a friend of an acquaintance. I don't like the idea of H having the kids over there. But I also have not seen the place, nor have I met his roommate.<P>The 'deal' that H and I have made, is that he is NOT to take the kids over to his new place until I have seen it, and met the roommate, and go from there. If I can accept all that I see, then the boys can visit (they're 2 yrs old, and 3 month old twins). But if there's something about it that concerns me, H understands that he cannot have any visitations there.<P>Perhaps that is something you should try to do? If you talk to your wife about her need for a roommate, then also explain to her that you won't feel comfortable having the kids there unless you get the chance to meet this person for yourself. <P>IMO, by taking this approach, you can avoid causing LBs regarding money.. because, after all, SHE is the one who says she'll need a roommate, right? So go with her flow on this one.<P>Karen<BR>

If you were to continue with Plan A I would encourage you to help her out financially but since you are moving to plan B you should cut off any financial support to her- I just read this in the book.<BR>It makes sense to me.

Rick - I think I understand your feelings on this. The room mate could end up being one of the type in her "new" crowd. A real pisser. But I think it's similar to the situation of having your kids around OM - there's nothing we can do about it. Who knows, the room mate could be beneficial? <P>Dave (WAT)

Rick37 -<P>WAT has in his separation agreement that he will not have any over night guests. Can you request that it be a female roomate, one that maybe you can help her screen out or look for - since your kids will be there?<P>I wouldn't worry about her having a rommate - it could just be her blowing smoke, but if she does look for one, I would make sure that the roomate is at least female - you don't want the OM moving in!! <P>If your wife chooses someone in her "run around" crowd - well, I think you should have the right to not approve on the basis of men running around all hours of the night when you're kids are there - valid concern. However, speaking, kind of from experience, most single, party girls, would not want to rent a room where there will be kids. They want to be able to have "guests" of the opposite sex in anytime they can. Seems to me, like you might want to think along the lines of WAT's separation agreement - no male overnight guests around your kids - that could scare off some potential partiers.