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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 57
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 57 |
So I start my Plan A, making very sure that I don't LB. I'm normally a caustic personn who says exactly what's on my mind, so being nice, supportive and kind is quite noticable, immediately (particularly after my many rants). So now, I'm accused of being "Pompous." Catch that! Believe me, just being nice makes him feel that I'm trying to say "I'm better than you are." This is just delusional, and driving me nuts. His love bank is starting to be as overdrawn as my checkbook. Aaarrrggghhh!
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060
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Joined: Sep 2000
Posts: 10,060 |
baseballhat (what team?) - Yep, you can't win. No matter what you do, you're going to be criticized. This is the WS's way of shifting guilt and blame. Sometimes the correct reaction is no reaction, or at least a neutral reaction. In a good Plan A, you demonstrate your improvements and don't lovebust. If going otta your way to do things you normally wouldn't do draws fire, don't do it.<P>WAT
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 57
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 57 |
Team ME. The name comes from feeling like I was having my hat pulled over my eyes. When I came out of my BW Fog, I decided that a baseball hat can't be pulled down that far. <P>As for changing the way I normally do things, I had to. It was time for me to be nicer, gentler. I'm enjoying the peace that comes with it. None of us come out of an experience like this the same way we came into it. It has made me a nicer, more compassionate person and friend to others. Heck, I've even forgiven and become friends with the OW. One of the things H wanted was for me to be a nicer person. Now he's got it. And he hates the fact that nicer also means more honest and considerate (because that makes him look bad). <P>I dont rub his nose into anything, I just behave as a good person would. I'm honest, caring, kind and gentle. Jeez, deal!
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