Wife had the kids this week for 1 night, supposed to be 2. Called me yesterday to see if I can take them last night, so she can work on a deal (real estate). I couldn't, but can tonight, so I am.<P>Called me half hour ago, just to say appointment cancelled, but low and behold, my kids want to come anyway. They always rather be with me, but I'm sure she cooked this up to purposely arrange that she be free for "something", but she knows I might find out about not having an appointment, hence the sudden change.<P>I always take the kids when I can, but her phoney lies continue to annoy me. She must think I'm really dumb. Should I care?<P>Just for the record, I've got a Plan B letter written, which I'll post soon. Needs a few updates.

Hi Rick - you know what? Let's you and your kids and me and my son go camping way up in Canada. I even have a Coleman. We'll look at the stars and maybe see the Northern Lights. Maybe, we'll be out of reach of these lies.<P>Seriously, anymore I almost welcome the lies. When I detect them it's weirdly reassuring that she still tries. This indicates to me that she's still possessed and I still need to ignore them. The pool is still empty. Does this make any sense at all?<P>Dave (WAT)

Don't come to Canada to camp. It is really cold here. Frost last night.<P>Other note: Lies are lies and your human. I don't know of anyone who is not bothered when they are lied to. It shows a real lack of respect for you not to tell you the truth. You should tell her that even if it doesn't make a difference. <P>Hang in there.

Hey Rick, <P>I don't think you can help but care. The real question is "should you let it bother you?" The answer to that is no. You don't even have to snoop to know what she is up to. <BR>You win by getting the kids more often. Plan B will remove you from all of that soon enough.<P>take care,<BR>cleo<P>BTW - She wouldn't know dumb if it was staring her in the face.

Funny you should ask the question, because I'm having one of those days when I wonder if I'm doing the right thing also. <P>I pull myself back with the "take the plank out of your own eye" "turn the other cheek" arguments when I get really fuming.... But other times I really wonder if I'm doing the right thing for my kids. <P>You know Rick, it was my H who put on quite a "show" with his mom along for the ride, in filing his own parenting plan that had him have the kids from wed. to sat. afternoon. every week.<P>Well naturally it worked great while his mom and her H were here. Who wouldn't love to be with Gr and GrP....also. But when they left they had to be with a babysitter. And that was sudden. (because of course he can't tell me anything...I am the enemy) I went along with that... babysitter was warm, very nice and very caring.<P>But.....as you would guess...there is always something. Somehow I get them. something happens with the sitter. His schedule which includes being on call 24/day for sometimes a week at a time makes the sitter thing difficult, unless she lives in...which he can afford mind you.<P>My kids do not like it. Particurlarly my almost 12 daughter. I feel like I'm always put in a bad place and would rather have my kids here anyway....but he's the one who came up with the plan.<P>I actually think he thought I would really blow a fuse. But I didn't... and was very happy that my dad-starved kids were able to spend time with him... But it is all for show.<P>Sometimes this is almost unbearable, isn't it??????

Rick,<P>More time with your kids.<P>You are not being duped, because you know what she is doing. Now why she lies who knows.<P>along with Wat's W, the LB fairie would love to talk to your W, or maybe boytoys parents. <BR>

Rick,<P>More time with your kids.<P>You are not being duped, because you know what she is doing. Now why she lies who knows.<P>along with Wat's W, the LB fairie would love to talk to your W, or maybe boytoys parents. <BR>

Thanks for the replies. Sometimes I just shake my head in disgust at my wife's behavior. I guess this simply indicates that she is still a total alien, because she would rather be out playing baseball with her cronies than spending the evening with her kids.<P>This is all too predictable. Last year, living with me and carrying on the A, being out every night. Now, living herself, has the kids normally Wed and Thurs, but works Mon and Tues evenings. So guess what, in order to get out Wed and Thurs night (the usual ball nights last year), she has to cook up these fake appointments as I described.<P>It is sad, really, because as far as I know, when the kids aren't at her place, she isn't either...she sleeps at OMs, I think. When they are there, she always has people over. She isn't happy unless she is running around with these morons. However, despite the crap I've had to endure for the past year, I consider myself HAPPY! I'm sad about my marriage, I miss the good times, and I hate what it does to the kids, but I love my kids, I have a great job with great people, and wonderful neighbors and friends. She doesn't have those feelings, I'm sure. Rather ironic, because she is the one chasing happiness.<P>She is fooling herself, because unless she stops this foolishness, the kids will just continue to want to be with me more, and she'll be the loser in the end. But you can't tell her that now.<P>I had to bite my tongue big time to not tell her that her fake appointments are ball games don't fool me.<P>She also annoyed me, because she said the kids had a 3 hour nap today, and then said "see what I mean"...referring to her accusation last week that I keep them up too late. An unbelievable accusation, because I always have them in bed at a good time. She had them out last night so late that at 9:45 she calls me and says "sorry you couldn't reach us, and we didn't call, we were out at my mothers". Another lie, because my son told me what they did. All the did at her moms was get a screwdriver. Lets see, up till goodness knows when last night, three hour nap today......hmmmmm, I'm no rocket scientist, but 1 + 1 still seems to equal 2.<P>OK, enough. Thanks for listening to my ramble.<P>

If you want to go camping might I suggest New Hamshire and the White Mountains. There is so much to do and see. It is breath taking. I just love it up here.