Well, it looks as if we will be leaving here just for home leave & then returning later in the summer.<P>My H is not happy with this, but he wants his sons. He can't or won't end it between us. According to him it ended between us a long time ago, he doesn't believe you or we can ever rebuild, that I have done nothing in 2 yrs to prove to him that we can (I am still over weight & not attractive to him). Even though he is committed to the boys, he is not to me, that he can't stand being around me, he has distance himself from me but yet so he says we are staying.<P>I again told him to quit & go to OW; he goes you know I can't. Yet when I finally said I have had enough I will end it, he goes it is not that easy, I keep telling him it is you either end us & go to her or you tell her you are not coming back & he says this time then she will end it. When I try to end it, he says no, I even told him I would take the blame with OS, that I would tell OS that I couldn't live like this anymore, but H says no.<P>He doesn't want to get any kind of help, for him or us. I told him that he needs help regardless of what he does, that if we stay together he needs to deal with angry he feels toward me & that if he leaves he will need help dealing with the guilt he will feel, that he is going to need anti-depressants.<P>I think lots of his indecision results in the fact that the OW is fighting with her XH & his new W. Seems they are fighting about everything, & H will be in the middle of 2 fights. <P><BR>Even though my H says he feels next to nothing for me, is going to resent me for him being trapped, he says he has no future, I may be looking at things through rose colored glasses, but I have always believed that if OW would just be out of the picture that we could rebuild. Call me crazy, H doesn't believe SAA (doesn't he know that it is almost as holy as the Bible)<P><BR>So as of now it looks as if we will return here in late July or early Aug. I told H that if we get on that plane thinking we are coming back, he better not change his mind again, because nothing would be more cruel for our sons than being told after we get their by the way you are going back to Singapore.<P>I most likely haven't done Plan A this yr, did the 1st yr. I have just coped, so now my job this summer is to work on me, more mainly fitness & weight. I would love to meet up with H in month or so & give him a big surprise. He most likely wouldn't notice, he didn't when I dropped 20 lbs over night when he 1st he wanted to leave.<P>Well this is the latest but it could change again before we get on that plane tomorrow.<P>I have so much to do in the next 24 hrs, I am sure that I will be back on line, I am addicted but to everyone Thanks for all the support, advice, prayers, hopes, good wishes, etc. I will be checking in off & on but I will be on borrowed computers for the most part for the next 2 months.<P>Peace & happiness to everyone here.<P><BR>love, <BR>sing

My dear Sing,<P>I know you are busy packing. So as you are leaving, please know that are in our hearts and prayers. Have a safe journey and keep in touch. You will be on the same side of the pacific so wave when you pass over California. You have a lot of friends here. <P>Your H is not ready to lose you or the rest of his family. The ties and memories with you and the boys are important to him and yet he says such mean things to you. Please my dear, don't forget to take that shield with you to fend off those cruel words. In time, he will remember how to whisper sweet words to his wife, the mother of his sons. <P>Have a safe trip. I'll be waving (looking a bit silly so I'll just do it from my back yard LOL ).<BR>L.<BR>

Hey Sing, good luck, but please remember, this thing is not about you or your weight or your appearance! This is about your WH's choice to go out of the marriage. He evidently had been unhappy before and stayed no matter what you looked like, so don't let him drag you down. If you want to loose weight do it for you and noone else, but know that you never can change yourself to please another, that isn't possible. I know that if I tried to have sex 24 hrs a day with my WH, which was his complaint, it still wouldn't have been enough, because I tried that and he still left. It is about their choices, not ours. Just worry about yourself and your kids and GOd will take care of you, I will anxiously awaiting the "NEW YOU". God is good and he does help us, I am feeling better every day! Be Careful and look for fun everywhere you go! Love Ya, SEF

GODSPEED........Sing! May your journey be safe and your burdens be light.<P><P>------------------<BR><B>Time heals all wounds as long as you DON'T pick at them!</B>

I'll miss you sing!!!!!<P>Love and Hugs, Sheryl

I just wanted to wish you a good trip and a good summer. We'll await some news to see how you are doing. Take care and keep us posted.

<B>sing</B>,<P>Have a safe and good trip.<P>I sure wish this was easier for you, but I'm glad you're still working on you. You can't control him, just try to be who you're supposed to be.<P>I hope things go well for you.<P>Steve