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I have told my story to alot of people now who have been very supportive. The first question they normally ask is "How old is he?". I tell them that he is 36 and they all seem to nod and say "Ahh yes" and tell me a story about their father or brother or husband who at about 40 did these really bizarre things.<P>I'm not saying that we didn't have problems and that we needed change but what happens at 40 to people that they want EMAs.<P>Does anyone have any references that I could read or ideas where to look.<P>Thanks
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Joined: May 2001
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I would bet it does... why not begin a poll... like, "How old was the WS when the affair begun?"... it's a great idea!
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There do seem to be a lot of people who freak out as they approach or hit 40. Though sometimes it's just a plain old life crisis (and plenty of affairs have nothig to do with a crisis). A good friend of mine was only 24 when she had her EMR. But it was defintiely a life crisis. She started dating her H at 14, married at 18, had a child at 21. One day she realized that all of her friends were out having fun that she never got to have. She acted just like my H did, except that he was 35 at the time. She now says she wishes someone would have slapped her back to her senses.
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Great idea Nyneve:<BR><B>I would bet it does... why not begin a poll... like, "How old was the WS when the affair begun?"... </B><P>My H turned 40 last year. Has had a real hard time with it, but I never believed he would have a MLC and an A!<P>He is acting completely opposite his 'normal' personality. Everyone, and I mean everyone, (including family doctor) is in shock and disbelief because it is so against what we know him to be.<P><P>------------------<BR>Cali<P>"Humble yourselves, therefore,under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." <P>1 Peter 5:6-7
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my H of 29 years is 48 and I think he is in a full-blown MLC. He was my best friend, pillar in our community, coached kids, had everything, and now he says he's very, very happy in his tiny little apartment, pretending he's not having the affair with a ow who lives out of town and everybody knows about it. He has no contact with me or our two sons. Altho now he's coaching the 17 year old's baseball team. Is that weird? He hasn't talked to the kid since Feb. and now he's coaching him, very hard on S. And he's set himself up to be with his family 2 or 3 times a week at games and practice the rest of the week, not a lot of time for ow. Yes, this is a very strange age!!!!
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My W just turned 48, OM is 53 and I think they are both in mlc. he was only with his W for 33yrs and her with me for 23yrs. I think they both feel life is running out on them and they never lived. <P>
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My WH turns 39 in two months. D-day was last Sept. EA began no later than August of 1999, probably earlier. First seemed like he was in early MLC at the tender age of 35 (wish I had known about MB then!). OW was 18 when they met, 20 by D-day. I am two years younger than my H. We've been together almost 15 years, married 12 and a half years. H is "Mr. Conservative"--or rather, was. octavia99
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H was 26 when he began his A. However, we were married at 18, have 3 kids, and H's career is blossoming at the pace of someone probably closer to 40 than mid 20's. I truly think that he had his MLC early. If I have to go through another one in 12 years, I don't know what I'll do.....
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We both just turned 30 in the last 3 months.
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H turned 40 in Dec, D day Jan. OW turned month to the day of H. Can you say MLC?<P>Said to me and counselor that he realized how short life was and that he needed to spend the next half of it happy with her.<P>Has he moved out yet? Has he told his kids? Has he told his family? or any friend? What has he done to get himself divorced? Nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing!!!!!<BR> But I am not to see any hope in this situation!! Right!
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It started when he turned 40 - practically to the day. There's some good info at <A HREF="http://www.bestyears.com/midlifecrisis.htm" TARGET=_blank>www.bestyears.com/midlifecrisis.htm</A>
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