My husband ended his A before I found out about it. We are now almost 8 months past D-day. <BR>They only met twice, and the rest (before and after the PA) was an email EA. After the second meeting he and she agreed the physical part was a mistake, and while he never wrote to say "no more contact" he did say he wanted to take more time to work on his marriage. And she apparently said she needed to get on with her life. <BR>I was about to uncover the emails, when my husband confessed everything about a month after the last email contact with her. She lives thousands of miles away. She hasn't tried to make any contact. He was very careful not to let her know any personal info like phone numbers, addresses, workplace info, etc. So she really wouldn't be able to find him if she wanted to contact him.<BR>My question is: Is the no contact letter necessary in our situation?<BR>I feel like it might give me some closure. But it might also stir things up where it's already settled down. What if she retaliates? Tries to find him, etc. ??<BR>Any opinions?<P>Thanks,<BR>JGD

Hi,<BR>I will let others more wise give you advice...But it might be helpful to hear my story.<BR>My H and OW broke up and met in person and tearfully said goodbye...sortof the same concept as a "no-contact" letter. I wanted the letter, H wouldn't do it that way. In the course of the conversation he did tell her he would always love her. Yuk. He did break off contact after that and things have been slowly rebuilding (over the past 2 years) and now things are better than ever. <P>I am interested in hearing the responses to your question because I do feel a lack of closure. I don't like it that their last conversation had the tone that it had. My H's attitude has changed toward the OW since then (mostly)but I still almost feel the need for that letter/more appropriate closure and ending. But, like you, I don't want to "stir the pot" after 2 years of no contact. I think your instinct is right in your situation and that a letter may not be needed, but I'm interested in others opinions.