struggling<P>No, no, no. Do not stop posting. We want your input. It is valid. Many of us have to work through our pain here just as you do. This is a good exchange. Just as some feel that people should not jump on HF. They should also no jump on you. Some basic P's and Q's could be learned by all.<P><BR>ML

Thanks ML. <P>Some days are good, and some are not obviously and I just reacted a bit to HF today. I don't wish her any harm, I just wish she could find the support she needs, and this doesn't seem to help her much. BUT, I also need to be the good adult I am and not respond or read posts that make me upset. <P>When I first came in here a few months ago, I was slapped around a bit, but boy did I need it, then I sheepishly came back after not doing all of the things instructed to me to do, but I am here now, stronger than ever and actually feel like I can relate to a lot of people on here. AND I want to help ... and I bruise easy, so I need some tougher skin!! Thanks again. <P>

struggling:<P>Don't stop posting unless you want to! There's no doubt that if you were trying to convince Humblefish to end the affair, you'd probably need your own counselor just to deal with that frustration.<P>It's highly likely that she'll go away, because I don't see her as someone who's truly trying to wrestle with doing the right thing---she appears to be just looking for some attention. The responses to her posts will dwindle when people get tired of beating their head against the wall---and she'll eventually leave.<P>Don't worry about "Heartpin" (clever---even if it was a typo). DeWayne is probably just concerned that the boards have taken a kind of nasty edge over the last few weeks. A lot of us "oldtimers" see these cycles, and sometimes they just get us down too.<P>

thanks K. like I said, I bruise easy and I have been trying to help others lately after lurking so I am still getting my feet wet (and stomped on every once in a while! <P>we are all working towards strength and happiness and I will do all I can to bring that to my marriage and anything I can do to help others. Thanks for coming to my "defense" have a nice night!!<BR>

<B>struggling27 - </B> Please accept my apologies for the "tone" of my post. I am at the top of the list of those who don't want you to quit posting. I really do understand your frustration, that's how I feel every time someone gets told to "dump the bum", "would you leave the board...", etc. We have had so many posts over the last year that deal with this issue to no avail.<P>K is right about how I feel about this. Gentle persuasion hasn't been working, so I snapped. Sorry. Didn't know you bruised easily from the tone of your reply. <P>Chastised(only slightly),<BR>"Heartpin" <P>P.S. I've been stomped a few times here, too. Ya gotta just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and keep at it!! How does that old saying go??? "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." <p>[This message has been edited by Heartpain (edited July 05, 2001).]

Please accept my humble apologies for stirring the pot.<P>I do not want <B>ANYONE</B> to stop posting. I hope that Fish realizes that some of her posts cause pain here and that she learns from the responses she gets. I get the impression that she really doesn't know better. I could be wrong; heavens know I've been wrong before . But this is an addiction, for her as much as for the married man who is seeing her. She needs help--more than this BB can provide, just as we all do. At least she is starting in some fashion to look for it.<P>struggling, I am very sorry to have revived old wounds today. I know that it hurts beyond all measure to be betrayed; I certainly have a lot of experience at it. But pushing Fish away isn't the answer. Sometimes I find I can't talk to anyone without coming across as angry. Those are the days I just avoid responding. I hope that on my "good days" I help. I hope I help more than I hurt; I'm never sure.<P>Blessings, and again my apologies,<BR>--HBC

Hi Heartpain and HBC, no worries, today is a new day. I think that sometimes I read this site SO much lately, to keep me moving in the right direction and some things just affect me differently. <P>I wish I had listened to the wise words that everyone here had for me 2.5 months ago. It could have saved H and I a LOT of pain. SO, I do believe that some harsh tones are what is needed at times to help people out of their fog, and to defend the ones who linger in there (the fog) longer than some would like!<P>I hope to gain continued strength through reading this board on a daily basis and giving constructive help when I can relate to a situation.<P>Bottom line is we are all TRYING to move in the right direction, and that is the best part! Heartpain, CONGRATULATIONS on your wonderful post! BEST WISHES to you. Thanks again for everything ... this has been such a tremendous help to me. -AMM<P>