Another question for everyone:<P>I'm coming up on my first wedding anniversary since d day and our separation. Has anyone else gone through this yet and keeping in mind that I am in Plan A, what is the best way to handle it?<P>I was thinking of sending flowers and a little note to remind her I how I still feel...

AH - I went thru this quandry back in May. Got a range of advice. Based on SKM's suggestion, I settled on a "Thinking of You" type card with a letter inside confirming my love and commitment to our marriage. The punch line was, "...our anniversary next year can be totally different."<P>Don't know how it was received. She didn't do anything for me, as I expected.<P>WAT

I treated it as i always have. He got a package in the mail, a couple of great cards, 3 hours on the phone. He reciprocated in kind. It, for us< was one of the h better days. We did not talk about the A, we talked about our future, our new life, I think how you deal with it depends on how far you are into recovery. H and I are very loving and meeting our needs, so how we celebrated was appropriate. I do suggest doing SOMETHING to remember the day,, do not let it just fade into allthe others.<BR>Maine

I treated it as i always have. He got a package in the mail, a couple of great cards, 3 hours on the phone. He reciprocated in kind. It, for us< was one of the h better days. We did not talk about the A, we talked about our future, our new life, I think how you deal with it depends on how far you are into recovery. H and I are very loving and meeting our needs, so how we celebrated was appropriate. I do suggest doing SOMETHING to remember the day,, do not let it just fade into all the others.<BR>Maine

I treated it as i always have. He got a package in the mail, a couple of great cards, 3 hours on the phone. He reciprocated in kind. It, for us< was one of the h better days. We did not talk about the A, we talked about our future, our new life, I think how you deal with it depends on how far you are into recovery. H and I are very loving and meeting our needs, so how we celebrated was appropriate. I do suggest doing SOMETHING to remember the day,, do not let it just fade into all the others.<BR>Maine

On our anniversary, I will be driving home from a week's long vacation with just my two daughters from Ohio to New Jersey. It's about a nine hour hike. My wife will be alone all week doing God knows what. I'm not even going to ask. She will be staying at our house to care for the dog and cat.<P>Since our anniversary falls on a Saturday, I was thinking of sending a dozen roses to her at work the Friday before with a little note or poem attached. Things have been better between us lately even though we are still living apart. We talk each and every day, even if it is by phone. It's not always just about the kids, either. We actually take an interest in what each other is doing. By that Saturday, we will have not talked for a week, something that has probably never happened. Even in the bad early days of the discovery. I have seen definite signs that she and the OP (remember, this is another woman) are having less contact. But I know there is some. I think the kids are starting to get to her. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. They don't call this a rollercoaster ride for nothing. But I have to do something for the anniversary and I think my wife needs to be reminded how much she still means to me, even after all we have been through lately...