I too had a great need to forgive. Forgiveness is NOT forgetting. I like the explanation that forgiving is giving up the right to hurt someone for hurting you. I was sick of being angry at WH and OW. I was sick of blaming them for hurting me. I wanted to take responsibility for how I responded to crap. "It's not what happens to you in life - it's how you handle it." I was hurting MYSELF sitting around trying to think of ways to seek revenge - and by focusing so much on what THEY did. <P>The prodigal son story is what I hang onto. That boy did horrible things with his inheritance - his life - and hurt his father terribly. Yet, his father ran to him to greet him when he came home - even before he knew that the son was SORRY. <P>(Sorry to be a long reply.) <P>I think I KNOW how you feel. Personally, I wrote a small note to my WH, explaining what I thought forgiveness was - giving up the right to hurt someone for hurting you, and that God was the only one to judge and hold us accountable for our actions. I forgave them, but also mentioned that what they did was horrible, and hurt me deeply, and I still hurt. I said my conscious is clear - I am forgiving you. The rest is between you and God. I wanted H to share the note with the OW also. I truly did this for ME - to rid myself of anger and bitterness. I didnt' expect a miracle apology from either of them, and good - because I sure didn't get one! H did cry when he read it and said he knew that was hard for me to do. But, I did what I know is right. And they know it was right too!<P>Just my opinion - it's what I did - 3 weeks ago - and I have no regrets. If you know the OW and see her regularly, you either need to forgive her in your heart - you don't have to tell her, or forgive her in person or in writing, or try to forget about it like Roudy said.<P>Hope that helps! Hang in there. read lots of posts and learn. WYou're at the right place!<P>------------------<BR>Faith1