bump back to the top [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

^^Bump^^

bumping on up^^^^^^^

Good morning to you to nikko

As an arab would say"May your house be blessed with many happy children and your garage have spit free camels" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

231

<small>[ August 04, 2002, 07:55 AM: Message edited by: 231 ]</small>

bumping for myself and others!

^^^^^^^^

Some really good stuff here, hopefully my wife will avail herself to it and open up a little bit.

While I may be the BS and have felt a deep sense of hurt, I have been equally if not more concerned about wife's pain that she is enduring from this mess.

Thanks and God Bless!!!
Neal

just so you know trueheart the letter was moving i have some input here i did not have a full fledged affair it was a one night stand and it happened because i wanted to hurt my hubby and at the time it was the only way i knew that would work he knows i am ashamed and wish it never happened i get tired of being remined of it iknow i was wrong and i have been forgiven by god but at times i often wonder if hubby has really forgiven me .

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by valg413:
<strong>just so you know trueheart the letter was moving i have some input here i did not have a full fledged affair it was a one night stand and it happened because i wanted to hurt my hubby and at the time it was the only way i knew that would work he knows i am ashamed and wish it never happened i get tired of being remined of it iknow i was wrong and i have been forgiven by god but at times i often wonder if hubby has really forgiven me .</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi Val <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Hubby here!

For starters, I forgave you right from the start!

I have never forgotten the fact that it was a one time fling and I also understand why you did it. I see the pain in your face about it and as much as I hurt from it, <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I am much more concerned with your pain. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> I hate to see you hurting and I wish with all my heart that I had a way to take away all that pain and shame you feel inside. I am here to lend a shoulder to cry on if you need it!

There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish this ever affected us, but it did and now we need to deal with it whether we like to or not. I would very much like to just sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened, but to do that would invite disaster in the worst way and I don't wish that on either one of us.

I knew right from D-day that this was not going to be an easy thing for either one of us to have to deal with, but it has to be dealt with. You made a great start towards your own recovery by throwing your input into this and I encourage you to continue, remember the longest journey begins with the first step.

Your Loving Husband
Neal

<small>[ November 09, 2002, 12:49 AM: Message edited by: NealG722 ]</small>

Wow....Bump again

Just stopped in for a few minutes today...wanted to say hi to any of the "old" members of MB that I grew so close to that may still be lingering out there!! I hope you are doing well and life finds you happy and safe!! To those of you fighting the battles, don't give up the ship!! Life can be difficult...don't lose your hope and faith, no matter how bleak things seem sometimes!

Huggz to all my old friends here! May the wind fill your sails and lead you calmer waters!

Well, my old friend, trueheart:

It's so good to "hear" from you!! I hope you remember me. Yes, I'm one of the "old-timers"

Yes, I'm still around. Yes, "things" are still the same, but I am much better.

Thanks for stopping in, and checking on your "old" MB friends.

God Bless,

Hi Trueheart,

Howa doin??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Aloha,
L.

I am not real sure how I have missed this in the past but I saw it today. True you have a way with words , its perfect,crying here.thanks

bumping up so new can read...very helpful

That letter brought tears to my eyes!

I wish my WH could read it. He's just not willing to work on the marriage anymore. It's over in his eyes.

I want to send it to him but don't think it's a good idea.

^^^^bumb ^^^^

TrueHeart -

If you're still out there... I'm a WS and I'm not doing well. You said some stuff in your letter that makes me ache. If the offer for off-line communication still stands, I could use the insight of your experience mono-a-mono.

-TMD

I realize this is an ancient post but I found the link to it on Redhat's sig and wanted to give it a nice bump so anyone that may have missed it that are going through the nightmare of infidelity will have a chance to see it.

Dear Trueheart,

Not to long ago I found out my wife of almost 11 yrs was having an affair. This affair tore through me like nothing I have ever felt. I served 12 yrs in the military and have lost many friends during my time, I have lost a parent and even a sibling in life and nothing has come close to the hurt I have felt then the day my wife confessed her affair to me. I knew of this affair but it never became real until she was confronted and admitted to her affair.

I have three children that I love dearly and have done everything I can in life to make them happy. At times I have not been the best of fathers or even the best of husbands. I have caused my family many hardships in life with my frequent unemployment. At time I work six months then out of work again for three and it has become a cycle of misery. My wife claims that she has never loved me and has only been with me because of the children. She admits her affair was a mistake but claims that she will give up the OM but will never love me or give me the chance are marriage so needs.

I found out something on D-Day... I discovered that I not only was madly in love with my wife but that I would not let this pain get in the way of finding my way back into her heart. Along the way I have done many things to set us back, Yelling, screaming, accusing, name calling, threats of exposure. I know this affair my wife is having is my fault and my not being a real man has forced my wife into the arms of another. I'm 36 yrs old and when I'm working I make a good salary of around $50,000 . My wife told me a few months ago that her affair ended but I knew it was still going on and I chose to ignore it and hope it would go away and of course we all know that never happens. I'm not a proud person and I don't consider myself to be perfect but I do know that I love my wife and my children and will do anything to save this family and my marriage.

I read your post on WS, and I only wish my wife would take those words and live them and better understand them. I printed your post and have left it for her to read tonight. I am so deeply hurt by this affair that there are day's I can't breathe or even motivate myself to think past the thoughts of her with another man. My wife tells me on a daily basis that she will end this affair and have no contact but for me to give up any hope of her ever loving me.

My wife and I got married because she got pregnant with my child and it felt like the right thing to do. My wife told me when she married me that she did not love me but that she would try and that all she wanted was a family to call her own. I of course fell in love with my wife the moment I met her and looked into those eyes, even to this day I remember the day we met and what she was wearing-- Oct 12th and she was wearing a pair of flower print pants with matching shirt, pink and yellow with some reds in it. That's sad that I can remember that day so clearly and yet I have trouble remembering some of my own families birthdays. I have never cheated on my wife in all of these years, oh it crossed my mind a couple times but then I felt like it would only add to the already many problems we faced.


My wife admits she loved me at one time but then over a course of many years she fell out of love with me. She tells me she was not looking for this affair it just happened. The OM is an ex that she fooled around with prior to my meeting her. I admire your rebirth of your marriage and wonder how and what I can do to help my wife see the marriage the way you do. I will admit I'm tired of fighting and talking about this affair, all I want is for her to end it once and for all and not lie to me anymore. I want to be able to sleep a full night without having a bad nightmare with the Om in it, I want my children to trust there mother again and to love and respect her, the way they used to. I want to wake up in the morning and have a reason to get out of bed. I want to wake up and look at my wife and know she is with me for me, better or worse.

I feel so lost. even now as I write this I feel so much pain and fear of what might lie around the corner for me and my wife. My daughter is so hurt that she looks like she is carrying the world on her shoulders. She broke down a couple days ago and cried on her moms shoulder begging her to stop hurting her this way. My daughter is well aware of what her mother has done and also is willing to forgive if she will stop seeing this Om. my two youngest boys look lost and confused when they hear us fight about the Om and her doing's. I don't want to fight with my wife anymore, I want to trust and love her again like never before.

Help me, Help her

I feel like any day now my world will come to an end, and in that hour I will have given up on everything.

M. Schluter