[censored]! <P>This is for all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need<BR>to take it out on someone! Don’t take that bad day out on someone you know,<BR>take it out on someone you don’t know! <P>Now get this. I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had<BR>to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying,<BR>"Hello?" I politely said, "This is Bobby Carpenter and could I please speak to<BR>Melissa Lewis?" <P>Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone<BR>could be that rude. I tracked down Melissa’s correct number and called her.<BR>She had transposed the last two digits incorrectly. After I hung up with Melissa,<BR>I spotted the wrong number still lying there on my desk. I decided to call it<BR>again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled "You’re a<BR>[censored]!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "[censored],"<BR>and put it in my desk drawer. <P>Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills, or had a really bad day, I’d<BR>call him up. He’d answer, and I’d yell, "You’re a [censored]!" It would always<BR>cheer me up. <P>Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real<BR>disappointment for me, I would have to stop calling the [censored]. Then one day I<BR>had an idea. I dialed his number, then heard his voice, "Hello." <P>I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone company and<BR>I’m just calling to see if you’re familiar with our caller ID program?" <P>He went, "No!" and slammed the phone down. <P>I quickly called him back and said, "That’s because you’re a [censored]!" <P>The reason I took the time to tell you this story, is to show you how if there’s<BR>ever anything really bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial<BR>402-8863. <P> <P>Continued... <P>An old lady at the mall really took her time pulling out of the parking space. I<BR>didn’t think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move and she<BR>started to very slowly back out of the slot. I backed up a little more to give her<BR>plenty of room to pull out. Great, I thought, she’s finally leaving. <P>All of a sudden this black Camaro comes flying up the parking aisle in the<BR>wrong direction and pulls into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling,<BR>"You can’t just do that, Buddy. I was here first!" <P>The guy got out of his Camaro completely ignoring me. He walked toward the<BR>mall as if he didn’t even hear me. I thought to myself, This guy’s a [censored].<BR>There are sure a lot of [censored] in the world. I noticed he had a "For Sale"<BR>sign in the back window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for<BR>another place to park. <P>A couple of days later, I’m at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the<BR>phone after calling 402-8863 and yelling, "You’re [censored]!" (It’s really easy to<BR>call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) I noticed the phone<BR>number of the guy with the black Camaro lying on my desk and thought I better<BR>call this guy too. He answered the phone and said, "Hello." I said, "Is this the<BR>man with the black Camaro for sale?" <P>"Yes, it is." <P>"Can you tell me where I can see it?" <P>"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th street. It’s a yellow house and the car’s parked<BR>right out front." <P>I said, "What’s your name?" <P>"My name is Don Hansen." <P>"When’s a good time to catch you, Don?" <P>"I’m home in the evenings." <P>"Listen Don, can I tell you something?" <P>"Yes." <P>"Don, you’re a [censored]!" And I slammed the phone down. <P>After I hung up, I added Don Hansen’s number to my speed dialer. For a while<BR>things seemed to be going better for me. Now when I had a problem I had two<BR>[censored] to call. Then, after several months of calling the [censored] and hanging<BR>up on them, it just wasn’t as enjoyable as it used to be. <P>I gave the problem some serious thought and came up with a solution: First, I<BR>had my phone dial [censored] #1. The man answered nicely saying, "Hello." <P>I yelled "You’re a [censored]!", but I didn’t hang up. <P>The [censored] said, "Are you still there?" <P>I said, "Yeah." <P>He said, "Stop calling me." <P>I said, "No." <P>He said, "What’s your name, pal?" <P>I said, "Don Hansen." <P>He said "Where do you live?" <P>"1802 West 34th Street. It’s a yellow house and my black Camaro’s parked<BR>out front." <P>"I’m coming over right now, Don. You’d better start saying your prayers." <P>"Yeah, like I’m really scared, [censored]!" and I hung up. <P>Then I called [censored] #2. He answered, "Hello." <P>I said, "Hello, [censored]!" <P>He said, "If I ever find out who you are..." <P>"You’ll what?" <P>"I’ll kick your butt." <P>"Well, here’s your chance. I’m coming right over, [censored]!" And I hung up. <P>Then I picked up the phone and called the police. I told them I was at 1802<BR>West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got<BR>home. <P>Another quick call to Channel 13 about the gang war going down on W. 34th<BR>Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch<BR>the whole thing. <P>Glorious! Watching two [censored] beating the crap out of each other in front of<BR>siz squad cars and a police helicopter was one of the greatest experiences of my<BR>life!

Husband2you--<P>I sure hope you are a comedy writer of some kind...<P>Yesterday's and today's post are filled with pain and pathos...You sound like you are really struggling.<P>Yesterday you wrote a prayer to God...as a believer I would like to make a book recommendation--<I> Secrets of the Vine </I>by Bruce Wilkinson, is is on the bestseller list right now and can be found at most bookstores, I even saw it at Wal-Mart--I think the book would have a good message for you...Let God work in your life.<P>My own H (who is the WH) is struggling with a lot of self-doubt and hate and anger right now. I can't help him...he doesn't believe I can or do understand what he's struggling with or that I can change.<P>He doesn't let people into his life...and he has made decisions based on what HE thinks we want...Don't think, be sure...ask and tell.<P>Prayers,<BR>Cali<P>

H2Y,<BR>I don't know whether to laugh or be scared.<P>The people you call can probably *69 and get your number and report you to the phone company, or police.

oh my... <A HREF="http://www.funnywebsite.com/[censored].shtml" TARGET=_blank>http://www.funnywebsite.com/[censored].shtml</A> This is from a joke website ... now that is to funny you thought I did this..

LOR!!! <P>Hiya doin? For those of you that don't remember me ... remember... my glass was half full, =) E m p t y ... in disguise.<P>remember me?

I've heard variations of this before. I think it goes under those things we'd love to do, but would never do. <P>The only 'daring' thing I've done on the phone, is to those *&%#*(@ telemarketers... the ones who ask to clean your carpets and furniture. I got tired of getting calls one day (different companies I presume though), and when asked about cleaning the carpets, I told them I didn't have any (which is very likely.. lots of folks do the shiny wooden floors and tile thing). Then they promptly told me how they can clean apholstery on furniture too. "Oh", I said, "that won't work either. I only use lawn furniture in my house". To the best of my recolection, I never did get a call from a place like that again. :P<P>Karen<BR>

oh ya ... don't use that nick in ANY response to any of my posts... =) ...I have to hide for obvious reasons, those who know me may remember.

H2Y,<BR>Ok, it's just that, given this site...it could happen, and I wouldn't want anyone to think it is a GREAT idea .<P>I do remember you. You've had 1 or 2 other names? Posted heavily...in the summertime, can't recall if it was last year or the year before. Things going ok? Husband2you sounds good.<P>We're a year into recovery. Life is good, hopeful, and nearing normal--whatever that may be. Just found out that the former OW is getting married to my H's former housemate. Good luck to them, they'll need it. Thread about it on Recovery.<P>Good to see you post, now that I know who you are. Not that it wasn't a good post before... <P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious...think about these things." Phil 4:8

H2U<P>I used to work as a telemarketer back in high school. My supervisor (she was 21) had been there for years, and kept a list of phone numbers of those who crossed her. They called this one woman for at least 3 years. She must have never had anyone else call her, because every time she answered the phone she was awful! She would say things like "i hope you get cancer and die..." or "stick your head in toilet boil full of sh** and flush..." Usually my supervisor would be pleasant at first, just to annoy her. She brought us many hours of enjoyment. <P>FL