Hi S&C,<P>I've done a bit of thought about this as well, as my WS and I are on fairly good terms, but... she's still with the OM.<P>Essentially, as a BS, it's hard to get any response that feels right. If you separate on poor terms, you can just about kiss a reconciliation goodbye. If you separate on good terms, you may end up feeling like you do (we do?).<P>Depending on your perspective, this may be a good thing, perhaps he already has doubts about the relationship with the OW working out. I don't see how that can be a bad thing. A ray of light in the Fog?<P>Just prior to discovery, a friend of my WS told me that my WS had said to someone else that she hopes that if it doesn't work out with the OM, she hopes that I will take her back...<P>Oh yeah, that felt good... (sarcasm). <P>One of my friends was in a similar situation and he moved away. Soon thereafter, his girlfriend at the time (now wife) flew down to see him and asked him to take her back. His advice to me: you will know it when the time comes if the WS is being sincere and has truely made steps in the right direction. Your heart will tell you if they want back because the A didn't work out, or if it's because they really want you back.<P>One word of caution, listen to your heart, but do it with both eyes open and with all the facts. It'll be one of the most significant decisions of your life. And remember, according to Harley, the WS must be willing to 'compensate' you for the A and all the destruction it's caused, whatever that may be...<P>Also, at that point you will be holding all the cards, it's then up to you. Start thinking now about what you really want.<P>All the best,
