I dont know where he got this notion nor will he tell me he just popped it off the top of his head last night. Mind you my boss is 30 years my senior and not on the attractive side at all.<BR>I really have no conclusion as to why he would even say this. i have a normal boss employee relationship as a matter of fact i hardly see him at all<P>However i after he refused to answer why he came to this conclusion i told him that it hurt my feeling that he would think so little of me and my love for him.. he just shrugged <P>WS any insight on why WH would say this???<BR>BS anything like this ever get thrown from your WS's mouth?<BR>thanx in advance

My BS opinion is you probably show your boss admiration and respect and your H is feeling a little low in those areas.

Could be seen as a manipulating ploy Done to make WS feel/look better about cheating to your/his friends, by saying you have a crush on your boss, it justifies his actions.

Hey Roxy...<P>H is gonna be looking for things to throw back at you, so that he doesnt feel as bad about what he did. He will *keep score* in his mind, even if it doesnt compute, in order to even the playing field. He will look for ANYTHING out of the ordinary to pick at for two reasons...deflect his own guilt and make himself feel better AND he will do it so that he doesnt have to talk to you about what he did. Its called rationalizing...LOL...otherwise known as smoke screen. <P>Trueheart

i have thought of all these reasons but why when i told him how he hurt my feelings would he just shrug it off????<BR>i must be missing something

My guess would be that he shrugged it off because he knew what he did was just a knee jerk reaction to make you feel bad and throw a dagger your way. He saw that it hurt you, which is another reminder of what he has done in the past, so it wasn't really to shrug you off, but for him to retreat and withdraw. Just my guess, though.<P>Trueheart

I once had a very wise mentor who told me "Folks tend to see themselves in the others around them. Whether or not they see good or bad is mostly based on how they feel about themselves at the time"

LuvOnTheRx,<P>My counselor called this "projection" - when the WS tries to "project" onto the BS all the things they are doing that they don't feel so good about.<P>I agree with Trying2_4give and Hi Fidelity - he is probably trying to justify himself by saying - Hey, Luv is doing it, too, so I am not so bad.<P>Another unbelievable thing a BS has to deal. Don't dwell too much on his lack of caring for your hurt feelings. It seems to ring true that many WS's are not capable of feeling much remorse during affairs. Remember that you can not control his actions, feelings or thoughts, so don't even try. Live the best life you can and let that be your example, for that is all that you can control and influence.<P>Take care, Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

did i mention its been 8 months since Dday and his A ended???????<P> do these feeling still apply after all this time?