Hi,<P>I just read FLgal's post and choose not to reply directly to her. Instead I would like to share 'my thoughts'. <P>While some of her statements carried merit, others were just way off. Please let me clarify. All come here to help their marriage, themselves, vent, try to understand what is happening, find out what is happening and learn how to move forward. That is what I have seen. Along that way, we uncover a great ocean of emotions. <P>We laugh, cry, get angry, show frustration, act haughty, pout, tell jokes, share our dreams, hopes, fears, etc. Can any of us do this without expressing feelings? No. Are all our feelings good and uplifting? No. Should they be? Well, if they were, then why are we here? <P>We all come to learn and help. From the oldest poster to the newest one, all can learn and be helped. <P>Now to all who lurk or post downing this site or the other posters. You are within your right to post your feelings. Just as I am doing here. Just remember so is everyone else. Sometimes others say things that may hurt us, especially if it hits real close to home. <P>For most of us, I will venture to say that even the cruelest posts are done here and not in person. You OPs and Ws's out there aught to be glad your BS is posting here and not venting against your and your OP. Otherwise, this world maybe a justifiably worse place to live, if equal pain was placed back on the OP and Ws that they inflicted on the BS and family. <P>Yet this forum has helped many vent. So, let this be the venting place. The place of safety to express our thoughts, fears and hopes. <P>I say this in defense of all. Dave, myself and many others have said some direct things about the WS and OPs. I do not apologize for that. If that is the worse thing we do in our lives despite how we were treated, what's the big deal? Those Ws and OPs actually deserve more but we hold the line, draw the line here, for now. However, if any of our posts here help save even one person or one marriage, I would say it certainily worth the effort to help and be helped. <P>The reason? Well, what is being put up in our homes all over the world is more than any human should be subjected to. I have been told by a well respected person that what has been done to me and many others is the 'worse thing a mate can inflict on their mate and still live'. <P>If the WS and OPs out there are not as bad as some of the ones the rest of us are dealing with, then be glad. Don't be mad at the BS. There are some real psyco's out there and they don't come with a warning label. We try to learn before we burn. <P>Remember that!<P>L.<p>[This message has been edited by Orchid (edited July 25, 2001).]

Amen Orchid!!<P>As a WS, I will say that I have learned as much here as I ever did in reading the *text book* way to fix me or my M. I also realize the feelings and emotions we all deal with everyday, and that coming here, for a WS, is quite an education. I only hope that I have been able to help a few understand and maybe look twice. I do not condone or justify what I did, or anyone else for that matter. But, I do realize we are all human, with imperfections. The difference is that, just like when you were in school, we all learn and progress at different rates. I was one of the lucky WS, in that I recognized it early, and have been lucky enough to have someone in my life give the second chance to me. Tolerance towards other in here is the key to learning. Thanks Orchid for reminding me of the important things!!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart

My new signature line says it all for me...<P>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

amen..... <P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Orchid,<P>You are so right.<P>One thing people need to remember is that some have been here for a long time. Today they may not be bearing their soul about their own contribution but many, many have done that in previous threads.<P>Z<P>------------------<BR>He loves not who does not show love.<BR>----William Shakespeare

<p>[ January 10, 2002: Message edited by: LonelyAtNight ]</p>

Hardly anyone initially comes to MB because their life is going great. <P>Nobody arrives at the infidelity board under optimal circumstances. <P>On any given day there are dozens of people in horrible pain. <P>Some can only take in advice, some give good advice, some vent, some support, some are subversive. Very few are professional counselors...but heavy in life's lessons.<P>Personally, I avoid posts that I know will irk me...but then, I can't always pick them out.<P>The great thing about MB is that it is able to provide support at almost any stage of this infidelity continuum. That is amazing. That is why I stay on MB for now...both to pay it forward because of the posters that saved my sanity and enabled me & my H to save our marriage AND because some days I need the no LB, POJA, etc reminders.<P> <P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely, gracious...think about these things." Phil 4:8

HERE! HERE! You go girl!!! Although that expression has really been rather worn out, It fits!