I wanted to discuss the theory that has been going around here that the thread about the AIDS related murder/suicide was a hoax perpetrated by Mainemade.<P>I’m bothered by it because there is no proof that it was a hoax; there is no proof that Mainemade fabricated the story. She did not even post the original thread.<P>I correspond with Mainemade via email. She is a BS. She is alone raising three children and trying to recover her marriage long distance because her husband is in some extended military training. To add to it she is packing her house to move to their next assignment. She has little to no support in all of this. MB was her lifeline. She does not feel welcome here. In fact she feels attacked. Her one attempt this morning come back was met by her finding a posting by someone accusing her of perpetuating a hoax. <P>I had a post I was going to put on Marie’s thread but it was locked by the time I got there. I’ve decided to include it here. <P>I don’t think that Mainemade will ever come back here as she feels attacked. Let’s suppose for a moment that the story is true. How would you feel today if you were Mainemade?<P>--------------<P>Here is the post that I wanted to add to Marie's thread but was not able to. I know it is not timely now but perhaps it will make us all think the next time some one posts a hard to believe story. Perhaps we need to come from the "It could be real," point of view?<P>I do not believe that any one here has said anything to prove that this story is not real. <P>There are hundreds of murders and suicides a day committed in the United States. Some percentages of them are murder/suicides. The police would not necessarily know the HIV part of the story. So it's just one more murder/suicide and therefore not very note worthy in and of itself. Remember that with a murdered victim and the suicide victim right there, there is no need for a criminal investigation. Who cares what the motive is, the deed is done and the perpetrator is gone. So the fact that no one has been able to find it in any newspaper or wire service is not surprising. I've known of crimes (rape, drive by shootings, murder, etc) committed that never make the press. There was just something more interesting on that day to report. <P> If you will re-read some of MaineMade's posts you will see that the incident did not take place in Maine. Marie & MaineMade live in another state. MaineMade says that after the murder, Marie went to Bangor, Maine to stay with family. I think it is her hometown. So there would be nothing in the Bangor, Maine press about the murder/suicide. <P> I have seen nothing concrete in anything anyone said here that proves this story to be untrue. I do not consider gossip on the GloryB board to be a quotable authority or source of information. <P>I for one am going to error on the side of being gullible because if this is a true story, doing anything else is too cruel to imagine. Could you imagine if your loved one died like this and you had contracted HIV what you would feel like with the things said here? Your seeking help is turned into a witch-hunt? <P>Is this story possible? It is even probable. Yes... Things like this happen all the time. We just don't hear about most of them because there are only so many inches of column space that can be filled and so many minutes of airtime to fill. Life is very often much stranger then fiction. <P>And yes, there is a privacy issue here. If Marie was lucky enough that the murder/suicide did not make the press, it is very important to protect her and her son from curiosity seekers. <P>So please, let's just let this thread end now on a less negative note. We can only hope that Marie does not see how ugly this has turned. This is exactly why MaineMade is protecting her friend's privacy. <P>Z

Zorweb, your compassion is commendable, and indeed truth can be stranger than fiction. However this is all easily resolvable by posting verifiable facts. There is no issue of curiosity seeking, clearly anything of this magnitude would allready be known by quite a few people, and further, tracking down marie to communicate with would be be difficult enuf to do here that I cannot see anyone bothering. Lastly ALL murder/suicides are reported on national data bases and could be found for that time frame. Murder/suicides by non-family members are rare enuf to be noteworthy anywhere as well, and would be in the wire services. And yes, the police would most definitely ascertain all the facts, they do care what happened even if perp is dead. I am in the camp that figures maine made-up the story. But I personally have no issues with it, the point was true enuf, and could happen. I just wonder why she doesn't simply either give enuf facts for verification, and/or fess up and move on. I don't really think anyone would hold it against her all that much. And telling the truth would probably be therapeutic for her as well. People under stress do lots of strange stuff (you would be amazed at the stuff I have made up...well maybe not), and it certainly sounds like she has a hard way to go.

I agree with zorweb totally on this. I worked as a chat room monitor for almost 6 years and sadly, I know that not everything you see online is true but I also learned that the REAL stories are often the ones that are least believed.<BR>I think that people shouldn't accuse others of fabrication unless they have solid, absolute proof that it's untrue.<BR>I am relatively new here and I don't know Mainemade, although I have read her posts. I, for one, feel that people should lend support to her and allow her to feel welcome here as this is a "safe place" for most who post here. I also feel that Mainemade was more than justified in protecting her friend's privacy. Just my opinion but I hope it may change a few skeptical minds.<BR><P>------------------<BR>I'm standing here until you make me move.<BR>I'm hanging by a moment here with you.<BR>From Hanging by a Moment by Lifehouse

I think that because of the anonymity(?) of these types of boards it is hard to belive everything we read. Especially when it is something tragic. Who wants to belive that this can happen. I for one would prefer it to be a hoax, but how are we to know either way. i would say if you believe it thats fine and if you don't, just ignore, just like the trouble makers who come on. <P>What is the big deal? Personally I think that we have enough conflict in our lives or we would not be on a forum like this. I am getting quite tired of the flames and the disrecpetful judgements that are ment to harm and not help.

Could that type of murder/suicide under those types of circumstances happen? Most certainly. I, however agree with Sad-n-Lonely for a number of reasons.<P>First, those of us who are here and have been through the upheaval of an affair have been lied to enough. We do not need someone here making things up to get a reaction out of people. What I found even more disturbing about the post was that not only was it a murder/suicide but thrown into the mix was the issue of a child having to be told that his dad was dead and that his mom is going to die. To make something like that up and perpetuate it is more than horrible.<P>The resolution to this is very simple as Sad -n-Lonely put it. This type of thing makes the news and papers. There is no anonimity, it is a non issue. Posting where this occurred would have cut out the "inquiring minds want to know" e-mails Maine complained so bitterly about. <P>We have enough drama at MB without posting untruths. A better solution would have been to post a topic entitled "Let's talk about this possibility...." instead of trying to elicit sympathy from an entire board with this kind of a post. In my opinion, the post served no positive purpose, as we can all imagine this kind of situation well enough on our own, we don't need any help. <P>Maine could easily come back and either post the whereabouts of this "tragedy" or explain her reasoning behind the need to post such a thread. If she did so, I am sure she would be welcomed with open arms but she needs to provide some kind of resolution to the pot that was stirred and to restore what was lost of her integrity. Gee, we support WS's on a routine basis , we can support someone who made a mistake in the midst of their turmoil, they just need to provide verification of the facts or explain the reasoning behind doing what they did.

At Mainemade's request, I am closing this thread.<P><P>------------------<BR><B>Tempest</B>, Moderator<BR>Marriage Builders Infidelity Forums:<BR><I>General Questions II, Just Found Out...,<BR>Plan A/Plan B, In Recovery</I> <BR><I>Pregnancy/Child</I> and <BR><I>Read-Only Posts</I>