Anyone had to deal with this ? My W (WS) is back home and we are gaining a certain comfort level back. We have not talked about us or A since April. She is still sleeping on couch, no intimacy except for small hugs and kisses. Her best friend just told me ( W doesn't know we speak, but Best Friend likes me and wants us back together), that my W has had no contact with OM and doesn't want any,. She does want to re commit to our marriage, but is afraid she will screw things up again. She told her she loves me and doesn't want to hurt me again, and that is what is holding her back. She isn't sure if she should be married at all. What do I make of this information ?

MH:<P>You make of it for what it is: an opportunity.<P>Have you discussed any of the MB principles with your wife? My wife (the BS) and I committed together to implement the techniques/methods described in <I>Surviving an Affair</I>. Read together, do the emotional needs assessment, then begin to incorporate those ENs within the framework of the rules of honesty, care, protection and time.<P>When you get started, don't forget the POJA (Policy of Joint Agreement). Tie those pieces all together and we look forward to seeing you join those of us on the road to recovery.<P>One last thing: get counseling. I would highly recommend Steve or Jennifer (click the Counsel button at the top of the page) ... think of them as coaches rather than counselors: they will help the two of you put your game plan together.<P>Godspeed and good luck,<BR>STL

Sounds like withdrawal from OM with a little bit of depression thrown in. I believe my H is going through that right now as well. He's withdrawn from me considerably since coming home. I still don't know if he's totally stopped contact with OW. My H has gone from wanting to see if we can be "in love" again, to not being sure he loves me at all... I have gotten my H to make a doctor's appt. to get on anti-depressants. We are going to counseling, but don't go again until next Monday, so I have NO idea what he'll say by then (I keep thinking I'll come home and all of his stuff will be gone). Try to get SAA and share it with her. It talks about the withdrawal and depression associated with ending all contact. I'll pray for you both.