I'm so confused I don't know what to do. Tried plan A got discouraged onto Plan B and I wasn't very successful at that. My WH likes to play headgames with me. One day he isnice and acting like the man I married and the next he's a total p****! He wants to spend time with the kids and I when it's convenient for him and I feel as though this is hurting the kids. I've tried to talk to him about it because I know he loves the kids more than anything but nothing seems to get through to him. I am totally consumed about the OW. I am still trying to contact her H because he has no idea that this is going on. I have no proof that it is a PA but I have the phone bills and have intercepted messages from her. Friends my A** you don't call a friend 6x's a day!! I figure when I do get in touch with OW's husband things will go one of 2 ways, either we will get divorced or WHwill finally come clean with me and we will be able to work on reconciliation. Does that sound logical?<BR>I try the no contact and then he continues to call me or come by and turn on the charm. What's up with that? This entire situation is getting so old I just can't deal with it! I just want it to end one way or another. I need some advice. Replies please!!!<BR>cybil<P>

Did you just read your post? Have you seen for yourself where your focus is?<P>The hot/cold treatment is uncomfortable enough. Now my babies are crying and I am dealing with this because you told them you would come get them and take them out, and never showed..... Finally, there is preference for one single female other than me, who is not your mother or sister.... Are you seeing the big picture yet?<P>Now back to focus.... When my H told me about his A, I wish it never happened. I wished he would have told me before he moved, and I wished the OW was not pregnant. Now I see he did what he had to do to keep me, his wife. This meant: coming clean, not communicating with OW, talking to me about what is really up with him and us and not just the weather, etc. Don't forget prayer.... LOTS of it... I had to begin to really take care of me, because I still have our children to be here for too. And a job, and extended family. Don't let his ignorance eat you up, and start deciding on some boundaries, what you will and won't accept. Stick to those decisions, remember you still have to do what you are supposed to. God will back you, but you have to be willing. If you aren't, ask Him: "Help me to be willing to forgive him, to listen to you," etc. Waiting to hear from you. lol & prayers

ymon.Yes I do see what you mean. I hate being in this state of confusion! I do know what my priorities are and I am focused on my kids. Why is this so hard for me? I just want it to end because I can't deal with this not knowing what he wants and unable to commit to making our marriage work. All we do is argue we have one good day and 3 bad days. He doesn't want to deal with our problems. Did your H tell you about the A during or after it ended? How can you move forward if you're still questioning everything? I'm functioning but only because I know I have to go to work take care of my kids and that's the only thing that keeps me going. He still denies that there is anyhting other than a friendship between them. Co-workers. She is supposedly happpily married but her H isn't around much so it's obvious to me that my H is filling some EN for her and she's giving him something that he doesn't have with me. I have so much resentment about the whole situation because my H isn't here and he's not willing to even compromise with me. Prayer. Yes, I pray all the time and I know the good Lord won't give me any more than I can handle. Thanks for your reply.<BR>cybil