Hi everyone!! Although I have never posted, I have been to this sight almost everyday for the last 4 months and feel at home here. Let me tell you a little about myself/situation. I am a BS. My D day was 1/30/01. It was the most horrific day of my life. It all seems so sureal now as i think about it. My wife and I have been together for over 9yrs...married over 4yrs. We have one lil girl, 3.5. Live in DFW area. We have had our ups and downs..mostly good times. Since I dont want to re-hash some of the painfully specfic details I will summarize a little.<P>Well...a couple of weeks before D day, i started to suspect something was going on with my wife. She was a in-home daycare provider. And I began to think that her and one of the dad's were getting a little too chummy. So I started snooping around a little...looking at emails, paying close attn to how they acted around one another. Well as it turned out they spent a lot of time IMing each other, so I bought a recording software to ck on them. In one day I confirmed my worst fears and the world came crashing down around me. I caught them. It was their first time to be together sexually. Well I confronted her and the flood gates opened. <P>I immediately told the OM's wife and then called him. Needless to say all communication stopped immediately and<BR>we decided to work on our marriage. We went to counseling for awhile...really didnt help much(counselor talked more about herself than us)..I should have charged her a fee.<BR>After awhile my wife and I started communicating like never before...very open. I realize that I contributed to the affair by neglecting her. She was giving me the signs that she needed more from me. She wanted dates..bought books how to be more romantic. For a year before this, she kept telling me that something was very wrong our relationship. We lost the love, the romance and the friendship. I was too busy with work to here her...I thought that I could make her happy with the material things....SO I WORKED MY A** OFF. I was dead wrong and learned alot.<P>We are now doing much better. Most of it is due to the MB principles. I read and reread them. My wife doesnt visit the site but works with most of the principles. Although we are still working on meeting each others needs. We are open, honest and enjoy being with one another. We still have a long way to go but I wanted to thank everyone that posts on this board. I feel like I know you folks. I am glad that you share your experiences and feelings as it has helped me and does make a difference. I realize that I am not alone. And although I may not post, I know that someone is going through the same things and has the same emotions as I do.<P>I do have some things that I need help with..but I will pose those questions later. I just wanted to say<BR>THANKS <BR>
