Okay..<BR>In the inviting thread I made on August 30th<P>Topic: If your L U R K I N G . . . Its OKAY... Please read!<BR>( <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/012174.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/012174.html</A> )<P>I posted I asked the lurkers to come out and say hello. I knew that there were going to be many people say hi.. and there are probably a couple of dozen more still lurking. But for now.. I'm cutting and pasting the New Members situation here.. for help from the MBer's.<P>Although I am strong and determined to help each and everyone of these new people.. I can't do it all on my own.<P>Some of us have the capability to 'coach' these new people for a few days to get them into the MB spirit. I am calling on all of you MBers for help.<P>I titled this: New Memeber: Estes49 [Original Post] Coaching Request.<P>Title denotes that this is a new member.<BR>Their name<BR>their original post quoted<BR>and <BR>a coaching request from the OT (Ole Time) Members.<P>So this is where you OT members come in. I suggesting a new process here.. <P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR>Thank you, H2U and "Hello" to everyone. I appreciate your welcome. I am not a WS, OP, or BS. I guess you'd say I was a BMIL. My daughter-in-law is the WS. I discovered MB in March as I was searching for help for my son and family in the wake of DIL's "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." speech to my son. You have all been such a big help. I check in everyday, and like "gottruth", I have such respect for you all.<BR>I would love to hear from other MIL's. I haven't posted much because I am not on the front lines, so to speak, like most of you. I hurt, but it can't match yours, so I didn't want to intrude.<P>WDIL (totally unbeknownst to my son) set up an out-of-state move, filed for divorce (no hint what-so-ever), lied to him about the temporary conservatorship (= custody, in Texas) hearing, got temporary custody of their 2 1/2- year old son, and took my precious grandson 600 miles away from a father who cherishes him. This all came down in less than 4 weeks leaving my son dazed, crushed, and physically ill.<P>Evidentally, DIL initiated contact with a former boyfriend after nine years with no contact. (She is married 5 years to my son, travels on business, suffers clinical depression, had complaints about my son not making her happy.) You could take SAA and put her name in the blanks, and the story would read the same. Lies, deception, more lies. You all know the story. Son has been using Plan A, reading, and trying to be patient while having sleepless nights, losing 20 pounds, and missing his son and wife terribly. His main obstacle is the distance that separates them. DIL absolutely refuses to move back to Texas<BR>and, although she says she will break off the A, she is avoiding serious reconciliation talks. She want son to quit his job and move to where she lives with no guarantees of the outcome. The 600 mile distance that separates son and DIL (OM is in her same town) makes discussions and Plan Aing very difficult and not very effective. But son will keep trying before resorting to Plan B. He does have a lawyer and is seeing a marriage counselor and a Christian counselor. He reads the forum.<P>Sorry for the long post, but it explains why I am here. My question: I love(d) my DIL. We had no clue this was coming. An A is the last thing I would think she would do. I've kept my distance and will not speak my mind until the fate of the marriage is determined for fear of complicating an already lousy situation. I did fly to get grandson one time to give her "time to think." She has devastated people I love by her actions, and my grandson is so disturbed (and he doesn't even know why at 2 1/2). She has done such harm, especially to her own little boy. (Venting!) Anyway, what do you think? Do I just stay cool and nonjudgmental for the time being? What does a mom or mother-in-law do in situations like this? I know that my son wants them to work it out.<P>H@U and everyone, thanks. Other hurting in-laws and parents, maybe we can start some threads from our perspective.<P><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>So who is going start off Coaching this New Member?<P>------------------<BR>Semper Fi,<P>Husband2You<BR>*****<BR>···In the valley of the blind the one eye'd man is King···<P>· E-mail: husband2you@petroleum.org · ICQ: 1206499 · Formerly: E m p t y ·<P>------------------<BR>Semper Fi,<P><B>Husband2You</B><BR>*****<BR><I>···In the valley of the blind the one eye'd man is King···</I><P>· E-mail: <B>
husband2you@petroleum.org </B> · ICQ: <B><A HREF="http://wwp.icq.com/1206499" TARGET=_blank>1206499</A></B> · Formerly: <B>E m p t y</B> ·
