Most of the time God has given me strength and allowed my husband to see the love I have for him and he will sometimes allow me to meet (H) needs. <P>When I feel I need to physically release some anger I drive out in the counrty & YELL, SWEAR, & cry, and come back tired. No LB<P>Last Thurs. H stayed in another town to work late. I called about 5p.m. It was okay - I figured 6:30pm He didn't get home until after 7:30. I know a hour isn't much considering a bad rain storm & 3-6 inches of rain, but by them I had imagined he was out looking for an apartment in the other town. I was visibly upset when he got home.<P>He has been calling OW at work daily & I have been handling that okay for the most part no LBing. I asked if he took off his wedding ring now because I don't want to mention her name. He said yes shortly after I called him. <P>It was totally a new reaction for me - I slamed my fist into the glass oven door and then tried to put it through the glass back door and them hit the wall and ran outside and yelled. Unfortunately son(14) was around. He has been so quite. Husband took my arms and told me to calm down. <P>God gave me strength, I looked him in the eye said I was okay, and he needed to go tell son what was going on with him and OW. S knows about MC since OCT 2000. I have known about this OW since July 4, 2001. He then had to call D away 400 mi at college and tell her - she did not contact us for 4 days - very unusual.<P>Saturday both H & I went to massage therapy, my therapist didn't see my bruised fist until the end, said my neck was like I was in a car wreck - I didn't know I had that much adeneline. At first she didn't want to massage my hand, but I told her I didn't think anything was broken & it didn't hurt.<P>I was planning to call OWH to get his POV, but I was given the wrong number, after trying for 2 days. So I knew OW had a married son and I called to see if it was true about OWH being sucidal. He was unaware of anything going on and thought OWH was a strong person. OW DIL got on the phone thinking I was an OW yelling & swearing at me I was crying & told her I just wanted to talk to OWH. She knew about MIL's affair - OW's son was surprised. DIL was under impression that it was over back in March 2001. I told her it was still going on with them calling each other at work.<BR>OW's son seemed to have geniune concern, OW's DIL was very angry. OW's son has a 6 month old baby.<P>I told her that we had just told our kids which was very up setting, and I wanted to make sure OW oldest son was aware of the situition since OWH was not able to handle upsetting information. OW DIL said OWD(17) listened to them(OW & H) on the phone one night last March 2001 and found out. She knew before me. I told them that I get very anxious, like OWH when I know something is not fitting into place. The unknown.<P> My H showed up about this time and I disconnected at that point. H asked who I was talking to and I told him the truth since he has been telling me about his phone calls to OW.<P>My H said he knew about OW d finding about them, the OW told her D that she thought D knew that OW's marriage had been in toruble for more than five years. I think that is because OW has not been honest about calling or her past affairs before my H. Major LB H is very very cold, but still here. <P> I know he was very worried about daughter also and was very relieved when she finally called - she didn't say much though. It seemed like he kinda understood why I felt the need to call.<P>Question - Do you ask the kids if they want to know anything more or do you just go on with work, school activities, and MC.<P>I asked him what he would miss the most if he left, H said discussing our kids and their activites. I said that I wanted him with me when we went somewhere and had fun together. He said he wanted liked to do that to.<P>Right now he is away 150 miles to a JV football game and I think the OW was just trying to call me because H probably tole her I would be home alone tonight. The phone ring at 6 p.m. I decided it might be her and she can talk to me infront of my H if I get to choose. I did not answer the phone. If it was someone else it can what until tomorrow.<P>I know a thousand lashes for what I did by calling OW's son.<P>
