All,<p>I only mention this because I am thinking that is an issue with her sexuality. When she and I first dated/mated she was able to reach orgasms with just digit manipulation or oral stimulation, quite frequently. As time went on it became increasingly harder and harder for her reach her peak and hit the Big "O". We then moved into using an external only vibrator for clitoral stimulation by itself or used in conjunction with digital or penile insertion. We then went on to using a vibrating dildo plus the external vibrator. <p>Now, at first I thought it wasn't a big deal, I mean, what the hell, I didn't have to try so hard myself and I could use the "instruments of love" to get the job done (although I always tried to finish her off myself before we brought in the hardware!)<p>Okay, so what's the real issue? Well, after so many years of her telling how wonderful and understanding I have been as lover, (claims to have never been as comfortable and relaxed during sex as with me, plus I am patient - it can take 20 minutes or longer for her sometimes - and I don't care when she loses control of her bodily functions - she usually p**s during orgasm), and me having been so very comfortable in my status as her pleasure king, I ask her, "Did you cum for OM?" She said yes, a couple times or so that she can remember, but she doesn't know why. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] And it didn't require a vibrator, so that has deflated my ego somewhat.<p>Now I have been trying extra hard to make her peak without using anything except me. I asked her one-day, "How can I make you cum w/o the vibrator?" She looked away thoughtfully then said, "Why don't you try slowly stimulating my G-Spot with your finger at the same time you are l**king me." So now I am thinking that this was the "technique" of the OM [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] But, I want to please her, so I try it next time around. For 20 minutes I got lots of writhing and moaning and groaning and mini-spasms but we didn't quite reach the top, so it was finished-off with the vibrator once again (and it took almost another 10 minutes of that). She finally asked me what was my goal in all this? Why was I so adamant in trying to please her w/o using the vibrators? I didn't have the heart to tell her that I was trying to match her experience with the OM, so I told that I was trying to get to cum like she used to when we first started seeing each other. She told me not to worry about it, she is happy and isn't concerned about our sex-life, so don't fret over whether I can make go all the way w/o using any instrumentation. But, alas, it does matter to me! <p>I am thinking that perhaps it is the excitement of being with someone new that gets her so passionate and hot that she doesn't need a vibrator, hence, her frequent orgasms with me during our "honeymoon" year and her orgasms during her brief PA. <p>So, in my mind, if she can reach those peaks with a new person w/o vibrators, than what is to keep her from seeking that same type of heightened excitement again with someone else? Is this a psychological issue within her?<p>I haven't given up yet. I am still going to find that "sweet spot" and get her there come hell or high water! I also noticed that her level of excitement is different throughout the month, presumably in conjunction with her hormone levels during her cycle, so perhaps I tried to get her there during a low hormonal level time of the month. I will try again (and again and again and again) but I wanted opinions and suggestions, both on her state of mind (difficultly reaching orgasms in a long-term "comfortable" relationship) and possible things that I can do to help to get to the top au natural! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

no time to read the whole post, sorry.<p>lots of women can only get it with a vibe.<p>some can't get it at all, so it is good she can.<p>sometimes stuff changes.<p>doesn't have to be a huge deal, just invest in energizer.<p>E

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> don't care when she loses control of her bodily functions - she usually p**s during orgasm<hr></blockquote><p>I suspect she's not p***ing at all but ejaculating. Alot of people have made that mistake because it does come out in a gush which is different than the other orgasms.<p>Here's part of an article I found from http://www.oxygen.com/experts/delilah/delilah_19970121.jhtml
In your case, it's important for your girlfriend to know that the fluid she emits during orgasm is normal. In a groundbreaking book called "The G-Spot," by Alice Ladas, Beverly Whipple,and John Perry, it was first publicly noted that some women ejaculate during orgasm. The fluid comes from the urethra, not the vagina, but it is not urine. The composition is still unknown, and the amount and consistency vary from woman to woman and from interlude to interlude. Most women who can ejaculate experience a sense of deep relaxation and relief when the fluid is released.<p>Some women are so embarassed or unsure about the fluid that they try to hold it in, which can cause frequent urinary tract infections. Best off to let your partner know that it's completely normal for SOME women to ejaculate, and that it's okay for her to relax and enjoy<p>[ May 23, 2002: Message edited by: roseyhue37 ]</p>

I believe it is called a G Spot orgasm and it makes your wife a very happy woman. And no, it is not pee............ [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>I suspect she's not p***ing at all but ejaculating. Alot of people have made that mistake because it does come out in a gush which is different than the other orgasms. <hr></blockquote><p>This is true. It is supposed to be a really good feeling orgasm, but have never been able to do it myself. <p>Female ejaculation and the G-spot

<Deleted for Protection><p> [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]<p>[ May 24, 2002: Message edited by: BeingZen ]</p>

read this quick, cuz then it will get edited for protection....<p>oh...too late.<p>Edited for Willy's protection.<p>[ May 24, 2002: Message edited by: Willy1 ]</p>

Blind Sided:<p>A few things:<p>1. The issue is probably psychological, not a matter of technique. So stop asking how you can touch her in a way that feels better. Start asking how you can behave outside the bedroom in ways that will make her feel more in love with you.<p>2. Some women get so used to the vibrator that they become unable to reach orgasm withut it. It is so much different and, unfortunately, more effective that fingers or tongue that over time fingers and tongue are not enough. Some of the books I have read say that if you want to get wife to climax without vibrator, you have to completely stop using the vibrator for weeks or months so her body "forgets" how good the vibrator feels. However, I would definitely not ask her to give up the vibrator until you have spent, oh say 5 or 10 YEARS trying step 1 first. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>3. Stop making her O the be-all and end-all of your love making. If she has an O, great. But if she starts to feel that your goal is her O, and not a feeling of closeness and intimacy to her, well, it will make your job harder and harder and you will never get there. <p>So lay off the questions about technique. Lay off the questions about whether she had an O, or whether it was a big one. And for darn sure lay off asking her to compare you to the OM in bed! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] Just try to be the best husband you can be. Meet her ENs. Avoid LBs. And try being a little more fun and playful in the bedroom. She may not reach a huge O without the vibrator, but you will both enjoy it more.<p>Of course, taking sex advice from a guy who hasn't gotten any in 8 months is probably not such a great idea either. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Agree fully with #2 and #3 above.<p>Also with the FE which sometimes has a faint urine odor, probably due to coming from the same pipes, but for some women who have it, it's embarrassing enough ... please don't call it p***ing unless you're sure! ;}

Princess,<p>I agree...it likely makes women self concious......but it is not pee.....it is natural. I hope all the guys pay attention to Princess advice........it should make your wife feel like a beautiful woman, not like she is peeing the bed.....!!