Wow finally back to MB. I've been having computer problems and have not been able to get on MB. I was starting to have MB withdrawal. Just wanted to check in and update you all as to what has been going on with me. Firstof all I haven't had much contact with my WH at all this week I have not called him and he was not happy about that. When he did call me I've been very short and sweet but not rude. I have not LB'd. He came over yesterday and I was going out with a girlfriend and the kids were staying at a friends house he had ask what I was doing with my free night so I told him He made some kind of wise comment about me picking up a guy. He knows that's not me. He even gave me money to go out. he called when i was out and ask where I was I told him a bar he said no kidding n wanted to know where but assured me that he would not check up on me told me to have a good time and be safe. I wanted to call him when I got in but I didn't. He called me at 7:30 this morning and ask how I felt I was fine actually got home a little after midnight. He brought coffee over and wanted to make love at first I resisted and ask him if he didn't love me why would he want to make love to me. he said I told you I'm not in love with you but I do love you and care about you and I was worried about you last night. Okay can anyone explain this to me? I told him today that we have been apart 6mos and I suggested that we give our marriage 6mos. and if things don't work or one of us is not happy after the 6mos. we file for diovorce and sell the house and go our seperate ways, this way neither of us could say we didn't try and and there will be no regrets he said he didn't know. he said he feels comfortable with me and sometimes he thinks about coming home he just doesn't know. I told him if this is going to happen I would like it to happen by Oct. 1st. Of course he took it as an ultimatum and I said it's not an ultimatum it's just for you to think about. Was i wrong is this an LB. Why is it that when I don't call him and stay away he continues to call me. He's called me for silly things. Good news my father is being released from the hospital today. Sorry this is so long. What should I do now just continue with the I don't care attitude I don't to seem needy or anxious.<BR>C <BR>C

cybil,<BR>Wow that attitude seems to be working with him. He can see that you are going ahead with your life. It would seem to me that you should keep it up. forget Oct 1st and see how long he holds out as you are moving on with life. He knows what you want now, so it's up to him to decide to give it another try. I don't look at that date as an ultimatium just an honest desire shared by you to him so he could understand where you were coming from. <BR>My prayers are with you.<BR>Debbie<P>------------------<BR>"I find the great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving. To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it ---- but we must sail, not drift nor lie at anchor." Oliver Wendall Holmes

Hi, cybil! been wondering about you. <BR>Yes, I agree with dlm. THis sounds very good. Plan A - no LB's, but often the WS gets a little curious when they feel BS is letting go - moving on - being strong. This can be very attractive to them. Keep this attitude - it's more healthy for you, and attractive to WH. DOn't bring up the Oct 1 deadline again... if he brings it up, just say that you should not have set a deadline, but are not sure how long you can do this. So, no, Oct 1 is not the deadline. <P>You're doing great! Stay with it! <P>------------------<BR>Faith1<P>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'"<BR>Matt 15:28

Yeah, man...<BR>boy...they start thinking when you start going out and getting into life again...<P>Ya know...ya just might get into the 'game.'<P>Makes me shake my head.<P>I went to my former school's TGIF yesterday and H called me three times before I got home...once to verify that I was bringing dinner (I had said I would). Once to verify what time I would be home (I had told him between 6 & 7). And, finally, once to ask why wasn't I answering my phone and would it be closer to 6 or 7!!!(I was laughing my butt off by this call...)<P>But, ya know, he doesn't want me and he doesn't want to stay married and he's not home because he wants to be...<P>Again, makes me shake my head...<P>Confusion isn't just a state of mind...<P>Hang in there...we know just how you feel...<P>Cali<P>------------------<BR><I>Live Impeccably In Your Word.<BR>Don't Take Anything Personally.<BR>Make No Assumptions.<BR>Do Your Best Always. </I>

dlm, Faith1,Cali thanks for your replies. I know that you are all right about the deadline. I also can not let myself fall back into that needy state again or act like my life cannot go on without him. I just want this to end one way or another. I will survive!<BR>C