Hi All, I had such a trying day,. I am sure you all have had those. Anyway H is really giving me a hard time financially, It is so draining, everyday poses a new problem, how much more can a person take??? my kids are really starting to have a difficult time with everything, they are blaming me, not so much my D but the boys are. H does nothing emotional for kids only pays house bills nothing else, and makes a hell of a lot more money than me.My H is so nasty to me I guess you could say he verbally abuses me,he says things that I would not say to my worst enemy. Can anyone tell me why he is abusing me this way?? I am not sure legally what I can do but I am feeling very burn't out and drained, guess I just needed to vent. Much more to say but just don't have the energy thanks for listening and reading. Love and Hugs Sally

I know getting legal counsel seems to be one step towards finality...but many a WS has changed their mind when this occurs...don't get hopes up...but it happens...<P>I say this because I think you need to get it. If he is not contributing responsibly financially, you need to get guidance and court involvement. BTW...sometimes depending on your state divorce laws, if you divorce for cause, the person pays court and legal costs...I don't know any URL's, but there are divorce websites.<P>As for the verbal abuse, DON'T stand for it. Turn and walk away. Don't LB back...talk quietly and go someplace else.<P>Cali

Thanks cali, H is paying all household bills but according to lawyer he should be giving me money towards food, even with my pay check but he refuses. I am thinking about retaining my lawyer, I guess I am just not strong enough emotionally yet. Love Sally

Hi Sally,<P>Thought I would let you know my husband is treating me the same way. We are bouncing checks all over the place...and his reply is "What are you doing with all the money".<P>We aren't making any more money. But he has been staying in hotels for a year and ahalf charing up a storm. Now I am paying for not only his bills--but his entertainment with her too. <P>We have a large active family. It takes a lot to keep us all going. Why does he not understand this anymore? The fog really sets in with these guys.<P>He is also very angry. I do think he projects his anger on me to justify his behavior. He is mad that everything has not turned out like he wanted. So, it is my fault.<P>He also is trying to reestablish his relationship with his kids. Wants nothing to do with me. It hurts really bad. <P>I don't know how he could hate me so bad. I guess I just have to accept it and move on. Much more difficult than it sounds. It is such a loss of hopes and dreams. This was supposed to be our retirement time....kids finally growing up and getting their own lives. I still don't see how he can do this.<P>I think my husband feels "alive" again. The OW is nothing to marvel about--but has put him up on her pedastal. A very big need for him. Too bad he thinks that is more important than maintaining the family he helped create.<P>I do still love him...but there is no hope. He is moving in with his OW here in our town--totally uncalled for on his part. <P>I am supposed to be happy and just go on with my life...HE told me to. <P>He has started demanding time with the kids too. It does really hurt--we should be a family together. He is gone tho. Sad