Today was Moving Day for H. I felt fine being around to watch (but not help... don't worry!!)<P>Well, first this morning when I got up I gave him a hug and said " I feel so safe when you are here." I held on and he tried to pull away, I said "Don't pull away. You're doing something today I don't like. SO let me do something YOU don't like [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] k?" So he let me hug him for a while.<P>Then I fixed breakfast for us both. Now, some of you are thinking why am I being so nice on the day he's LEAVING me?? well, I haven't had much oppurtunity to Plan A him... since we;ve been separated most of the time. I was taking all the time I could to demonstrate what he is giving up. <P>He said, ""Why are you being so nice to me?" <BR>I said, "Cuz I love you. ... And what good would it do for me to be mean and ugly?" he said "true. ok. thank you [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]"<P>ok... I was fine most of the day... had to stop him a few times for trying to take something I didn't want him to [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]. Watchit buddy!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]<P>As time was drawing near for him to be ready to pull out, I got real quiet... just waiting and praying... then I started crying. he knew it... but kept on getting ready to go. When he was ready, he said, "Well, I'll call you next week."<BR>me..Is that all you're going to say on your way out?<BR>H...well, what do you want me to say?<BR>me.... I dunno<BR>H... (came to sit by me) [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] what do you want me to say? ... I already apologized for not having those feelings for you anymmore.<BR>me... pause.... What would you say to a friend who's in my place right now?<BR>H... hmmmm... to a friend... You'll make it just fine, and you'll be O.K.<BR>me... quiet....<BR>H... And, I would say, He doesn't realize what he has, and maybe he'll realize one day.<BR>(wow...)<BR>me... thinking.... I feel like you want me to just stop loving you. I can't. I can't just make those feelings go away. (pause) ... I'm just looking around, and thinking of the life you and I put together - we built - and you're ripping it apart. It just hurts. Seeing all this stuff go, and you go... it just hurts.<BR>H... I know. I know.<BR>pause....<BR>H... Well, I need to go<BR>me... Take care of yourself, k? <BR>H... you too.. take good care of yourself.<P>So he went on out... I checked the mail and gave him his - he was in the van ready to go... I said. "Thank you for loving me, and for being a good husband for 7 years." and I started crying again (darnit!!!). he looked frustrated cuz I was crying. he said, "well, i tried". I said, "I know. You did a good job. You really did." He said "Thank you. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]" we said bye again...<P>sigh.....<P>well, that was the last chance for demonstrating my plan A efforts, really. I'll stretch out the D process and be as nice as I can to him... but my attorney won't be as nice [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]. <P>Don't know why I wanted to share my day... but there it is.<p>[ October 21, 2001: Message edited by: Faith1 ]

Faith Honey,<P>When I read this it took me back to when my H left me. I sat and watched him pack (didn't cry) .... he took so loooooong .... at one point he and I were in the garage together and he glanced at me, I looked into his eyes and said "you're going to miss me" .... he just smiled sweetly, then when he was ready to leave in his VAN (I know, my H has a van also) he came in to find me in the kitchen, I was crying, he said "c'mere, so I can hug you", I said "I can't, it'll hurt too much, I can't believe you're leaving me again, I just can't believe it".<P>Faith .. I cried for days. <P>You are being so strong, you're incredible ... and God loves you and is watching over you. <P>I've followed your story, Faith. Your H is a very confused man. Just a few weeks back he was wanting to reconcile and said he loved you, now he is going in the other direction. Talking about conflicted.<P>I'm betting you're going to have more opportunities to Plan A your H. But in the meantime take good care of yourself ... we're all praying for you, Faith.<P>Love,<BR>Jo

Dear Faith,<P>Thank you for sharing your day with us. It was hard and we may not fully understand all you are going through but will lend all the support we can. <P>You have been there through the hardest of times for many of us, count on us being there for you. The hard part is that the one who can really do the best for you is hurting you the most. <P>Just as quickly as he turned back, he can turn around again. Take it from someone who now know what waffles look like for all sides. There is a major internal struggle going on inside of him and the 'dark side' may be LBing soon. <P>Your best qualities now need to come shining through. You have retained your dignity and sense of humor. You have shed a few tears. Your H can not say too many bad things about you so when the OW has a 'need' to hear him demean you, it will cause an LB on her part. Oh, it will come. OW's can't help it. They can't look good on their own merit, if that were true, they would not still be OWs. I have said that before. I still believe it. <P>It aint over til you say it's over. I will be remembering you and your H in my prayers. <P>Hugs......<P>L.

Oh, Faith!<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Faith}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR>I don't know how you got through that. I don't think I could've done it.<P>I know your faith is carrying you right now. Put yourself in Jesus' arms. Cry, curl up in a ball, throw up, do whatever you want to. You need to make yourself feel safe in the arms of our Lord. <P>Your faith WILL sustain you. Your H <B> will </B> be home again. As Orchid said, this is just the "waffles" talking. OW prolly gave him an "ultimatum." Won't work! He'll be feeling soooo guilty in no time, he'll be calling and wanting to come home. Believe.<P>I <B> STILL </B> believe is just Satan giving it his final shot, cause it's just about to end. I believe it! Don't give up now. I'm not and YOU WILL NOT. I won't let you! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <P>Your sis,<BR>Lupo

You rock Girl!! What you did took a lot of guts and strength, and although I know inside you were shaking, seeing you that strong has him torn up inside. Unfortunately, it also lets him go cuz he knows how strong you are. It is a catch 22..he hates what he is doing to you, but knows you'll be ok and justifies it in his head by saying you are probably stronger than he is!! And guess what......YOU ARE!! It takes alot more strength to Plan A someone that is walking out the door, than to say what he said and still keep going. He took the chickensh** easy way out!<P>"We're not worthy!!" I know youre hurting, but be proud of yourself!! Hang in there!!<P>*Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.*<P>Trueheart

Faith1--<P>You just hold your tag line close to your heart and BELIEVE!<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>"Then Jesus answered, 'Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted.'" Matt 15:28<HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Cali

Wow. I'm speechless. Are you okay? Are you going to take a little time off work, you know, a mental health day or something?<P>I know spiritually you are fine, but mentally/emotionally, this is a lot to deal with and physically, his stuff all gone... Whew!<P>Sending mega hugs your way today. I'm sorry it had to come to this. But you know what? something came to my mind when I was reading your response to trueheart's letter a while back...<P>It sounds to me like you were unequally yoked together with this guy. I mean, he may be a Christian and everything, but wonder if he was as spiritually mature as you are? It doesn't sound like it to me. It seems to me like you are/were way out of his league to begin with.<P>I'm not putting him down in any way, it's just that we all grow spiritually, just like we do physically and he just doesn't sound like he is at your level. I could be wrong, but it doesn't sound to me like he is at your level of faith, your level of Word, or your level of love. Sorry faith1, just a gut sense that I get... <3<3<3 LOVE TO YOU TODAY!

A mental health day???? yikes!!! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <BR>do I sound like I need one?? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <P>naaaaa.... I had Saturday and Sunday to recover, and doing pretty well today.<P>ummmm.... yep, you BET I'm outta his league, sister!! I gotta new attitude, so watch out!!! hehe<P>There's lots of issues regarding my H and our relationship. In a lot of ways, we are very similar to Cali and her H. It scares me to read her story sometimes. I often wondered if the difference here is they have kids between them - we don't have that "tie" sorta holding him feeling somewhat responsible to stay married. Spriritually, he says I HELD him back, by "forcing" us to stay in a certain kind of church - one where he couldn't grow.. Yes... we all know how controlling the BS's were in making decisions about everything. But I know that is one thing I know we could've worked out together, had I truly realized some things. You also know from my story he battled cancer for 2 years. That can totally mess you up - especially at age 28-31. He survived and is doing great at his job... so he's feeling a bit "invincible" these days. Doesn't need me anymore. Also, his Dad cheated on and divorced his mom. Runs in the genes I guess. He's definitely not at my level of Word either. He changes his mind frequently about things... based on his feelings and emotions. He's going to have a rocky life if he continues letting his emotions guide him [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]. It hurts to see him do it.<P>Thanks everyone for your support. You are iiiinnnnnncredible!!!!

Well, I'm sure that I don't need to remind you that "all things work together for good" so you know that what the devil meant for evil God will turn it around and you will be blessed in the end--and so will he. I'm praying for you both. Everything will turn out okay in the long run. It's a promise from God. Our mourning is exchanged for that peace that passes understanding and comforting that only the Lord can provide. YOU are the incredible one.