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#954705 10/29/01 07:23 PM
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cybil Offline OP
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Unbelieveable news. Yesterday H said he had some serious thinking to do about us. We spent some time together at D's games and then he went home and said he would call me last night but he never did. I just thought that he decided he was not ready to come home or worse it was over for our M.

To my surprise he called this morning and told me that he had been out walking last night and thinking about us, all we've been through good and bad and the last 7 mos. during our separation. He said he realized that he loved me and he thought we could save our M or at least give it a good try. He even agreed to go to counseling. I was numb. I can't believe it I had myself prepared for the worst. <p>I told him that I want him to be sure he is coming home for the right reasons and nothing else not because he feels guilty or pressured. He said he wouldn't be coming home for any of those reasons because that wouldn't be fair to either of us. <p>I am happy yet at the same time apprehensive. We talked about some of our issues tonight and agreed that we will be totally honest no secrets from one another. We also agreed that neither of us wants the marriage that we had we both want more. He suggested that we need to really spend more time together as a couple and not get so caught up in the every day crap. I know easier said than done. We also talked about his female friend at work and although he still insists that she is only his friend and happily married. He said that when we were apart I had all my friends to talk to and he had no one. She listened to what he had to say without making any judgements. He said he will only see her at work, not call her at home or on the cell phone. I told him that trust will not come back over night and that is something that will take time.

I saw my counselor today and he said give him a week to settle in and then we can begin counseling together. I am still in shock I can't believe this is happening. It is exactly 7 mos.ago today that H moved out.<p>I know we have a rocky road ahead of us. I thank each and every one of you for your support through the most devastating time of my life. I'm sure I will need your advice and input now more than ever. Please continue to pray for us.
Love & Prayers to all,
C

#954706 10/29/01 07:29 PM
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Cybil,<p> It is good to hear that your situation is turning in the right direction. I hope that it stays that way.<p>Indy

#954707 10/29/01 07:35 PM
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Oh, Cybil. I'm happy for you sweetie, but you know, at the same time, I have to tell you to be careful. gosh... I just went through this 4 weeks ago. sigh....<p>I hope and pray your H is serious, and will give it some time. I honestly think my H just didn't have the patience to work through the issues. He thought it was going to be easy.<p>I'm happy sweetie. Enjoy your time together. Plan A like CRAZY. We're here for ya, and I know you'll get some better advice. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

#954708 10/29/01 08:06 PM
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Wow - what a difference a day makes.
Cybil - hang in there. There will be good and bad days for sure.
PLAN A!!!! Provide your H a safe environment for honesty and openess. If he fears you'll "flip out" he will hold things inside.
Plan A Plan A Plan A.

#954709 10/29/01 08:58 PM
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Enjoy the excitement and happiness now. Trust me, those feelings will start to fade some in a few weeks... once it's time to start working on the real issues (and the A stuff is only a very small part of those issues, believe it or not).<p>I'm so happy for you! You deserve this with all of the hard work you've done.<p>Karen

#954710 10/29/01 08:58 PM
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cybil Offline OP
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Indy, Faith1, Alberta thank you so much!! I am truly happy [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] and at athe same time scared. We talked again after dinner and we both know that it is going to take some time. I told the 2 older kids today and he told our youngest tonight. The kids are happy too!
I also know that the true test is about to begin.
I didn't expect him to stay here tonight b/c he said he would be moving home by the weekend. He ran to his place to get clothes for work and I had to run to the grocery and pick up youngest D at my parents house. He was here when I returned.
He even got off work early and was here when I got home.
Faith I know I have alot in store for me. I will heed the advice of everyone here that has been in recovery.
Alberta yes I know Plan A Plan A Plan A and no LB's. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
C

#954711 10/29/01 09:01 PM
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Topie25 yes I know the first few weeks will be a honeymoon and then it's back to the real world. I am just so happy that he has agreed to counseling without that I'm afarid we would be right back to where we were in the first place. Thanks for all your support!
C [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

#954712 10/29/01 09:09 PM
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Cybil,<p>That is great news! I am so happy for you!

#954713 10/29/01 09:40 PM
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Hi cybil, I am so happy for you, I hope and pray everything works out for you and your family. take one day at a time. love Sally

#954714 10/29/01 09:42 PM
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Hi Cybil,<p>Throwin' in my 2 cents of [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] s.
I am happy for this good turn of events. Plan carefully and watch for withdrawal signs. Knowing they can happen will help you to be prepared. <p>Take care,
L.<p>[ October 29, 2001: Message edited by: Orchid ]</p>

#954715 10/30/01 12:09 AM
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[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Smiling 4 U!<p>Cali

#954716 10/30/01 01:56 AM
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I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy for you and your family. I wish I was in your place. Take care of yourself....but enjoy it. You have worked hard!!!

#954717 10/30/01 12:59 PM
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See, prayers can be answered. Agree w/other friends here, enjoy time, but understand what you both are healing from. <p>Am praying and rejoicing for you too. Please continue to pray for us. Had a horrible night last night. Hard time for little boy (and me too). Pray hard for chance for God to intervene and reconciliation to somehow begin. Know it may not happen overnight, if ever. <p>God bless you and keep up your great fight. You are a true faith warrior and I admire you for that. Remember, to keep it together, stay out of the game. Let love and healing be the only thing to do. Yes, it will be 90% good, but 10% of the time either you or he will have a bad day or two. Maybe withdrawal. Be open and loving. You can do it!!! God is with you both and obviously working overtime on this one. See what happens when two or more people gather to pray for someone? Expect the best. Be real, but expect the best and go into this with your heart strong and your head as clear as possible. <p>I love to read this!!!You have given me hope. You have inspired me to keep my focus on God and my family. Thank you for sharing your incredible happiness at a new chance. Your family is worth every ounce of effort from you, don't forget that. <p>So thrilled one of my prayers is answered!!You go Cybil..<p>"Therefore put on the full armor of God so that when the day of evil comes you may be able to stand your ground; and after having done everything, to stand."

#954718 10/30/01 07:09 PM
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cybil Offline OP
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Cali, Orchid, Sally, Meolody Lane, MnM, Not Peachy. Thank you all for your love and support. Words alone cannot express the strength and courage and support that you have all provided through this trying time. I'm sure there will be many more on this road to recovery.

Not Peachy please don't give up hope I was at that point thought I had to truly accept it and just move on. Look what happened a miracle. Prayers really are answered. <p>You are all in my thoughts and prayers.
Love,
C

#954719 10/30/01 07:14 PM
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God bless you for the hope that you have regained, and for the hope that you've given others here.<p>k

#954720 10/30/01 09:41 PM
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Wonderful News!!! Cybil [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]
I am smiling from ear to ear.....Oh how I pray he has come home to stay and to truly try.....Sounds like you have a great plan.....PLAN A like crasy....I will say a special prayer for you tonight ....I try and pray for all of us here on MB every day for healing in our relationships...we have something to celebrate tonight!!! Yeah! It is so good to see some progress....it gives us all hope for our own situations....go easy and do your very best....My prayers and thoughts are with you.....just waiting my turn......
Love,
Dianne


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