Zorweb, Buffy,
Just wanted to let you know how things are since I moved back home(Original post- CLouds,Buffy-10 Days and [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] )
The concerns you had about the control issue are pretty accurate. He has control of everything. Still has HIS new deadbolts on our doors, still has the combo changed on our safe, still has all the business accounts in his name (but I have to do the bookwork, go figure!)still asks ridiculous questions about how long it takes me to do tasks outside the home... I can see he may be worried about trusting me, but we ARE in counciling now, and I have to believe him no matter what(he's a compulsive liar) I have to give him the benefit of the doubt until I prove he has lied again, but he doesn't have to give ME any special consideration.I am reading up on the control issue, thanks Zorweb. Now I think I may have jumped back too soon, but HE initiated the time to come and move me home.(I believe he said it was so our problems wouldn't interrupt hunting season) At least I am getting informed so I can protect myself if I have to.
We did take separate trips this weekend, I went to my family's house near OM (didn't see him) and H went to friends hunting. I felt kinda disappointed, we were having my family's Thanksgiving, and our sons Birthday there, since we live several hours away and don't travel on the holiday itself. He felt he had to hunt, and I didn't want to make him feel I was not supportive of his recreational activities.
Before the trip, on the way to MC he did say he was worried I'd contact OM there, I told him I wouldn't. I told him I have a better chance of seeing OM here at home, since he travels here. I have seen him on several occasions, we talk as friends would, and go on. No mad passionate lovemaking, just plain old friendly, we have no reason to act otherwise. OM doesn't hold my decision to try my M again against me. He supports it.
MC seems to be going fine, I believe he is just telling her what she wants to hear...but doesn't practice. His trip was 4 hrs, and mine was 3 1/2- I didn't leave until 9 pm 'cause I had alot of preparations, and a few things he failed to take care of. He never called to see if we made it, or to see if we enjoyed our holiday, he finally called when we got home Sunday. He is staying until Wed. He hasn't called at all today. Now our councelor found our #1 need to be communication, followed by him not being so lazy and selfish. Well, I guess he withdrew from our lovebank on this trip! But I hate to tell him how to act, it's his choice, if he chooses deer over family, I'll have to live with it. It's MY idea to be here in the first place, right?!
Another thing, I found the supposed divorce papers, they were real. Boy were they real! He was trying to get all the kids, child support, and marital damages, and tried to restrain me from "kidnapping" our D who was staying with him.The councelor told me (not in his presence) that they were vicious. I think she's preceding with caution like I am.
I am going to start individual counceling. Hope he doesn't get all bent about that.But I feel I need to discuss things I can't say around him, don't want to make him any more resistant to our M.
Thank you so much for your caring and looking out for me, wish I had listened better, but at least I'm armed!
Thank you,
2fer
