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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 407
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 407 |
This is just a general question...do you think that marriage is required in order to have an affair? If you're a live-in couple that's been living together for several years, but you never married, can it still be considered an affair if one of the people involved falls for someone else?
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 921
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 921 |
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,649 |
I agree...if you have lived together for an extended period of time and have an 'agreement' for monogamy, then it is an affair.
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 407
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 407 |
Hmmm...perhaps...still sounds like "all of the drawbacks, but none of the perks" if that's the case, though. You don't get the promise of commitment, but yet you're still seen as the WS when it happens? [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Sounds like a raw deal to me... [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 276
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 276 |
Your together as a couple so I would think of it as an A. In our state if you live together for more than 3 yrs or file taxes together you are considered "married by common law".
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,091
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Joined: May 2001
Posts: 1,091 |
Here is how I see it.<p>When 2 people move in together if they are already involved in a relationship with each other then they are making a commitment. They are more or less living like they are married. The same commitments are there. Some people don't feel they need a peice of paper to make them "feel married". In a case like this....I would see it as cheating unless the 2 people agreed before moving in together that they would have an "open" relationship.<p>Otherwise.....it's still considered an affair.
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 921
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 921 |
My boyfriend and I had a monogamy discussion pretty early on.<p>Initially we had a "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Then in time we made a new agreement that worked for both of us. <p>It was never something that was "implied." We set out the terms of am agreement as you would a contract.<p>Do you have a written or verbal "living together" agreement? If not maybe it's time to have a talk.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Even though they are not legally married, it is still a committment. One doesn't need to be legally married to be committed to each other. One can just be in a steady dating situation or be engaged. It is still an affair if the parties are in a committed relationship to someone else. Unless of course, they have a previous agreement to have an OPEN relationship.
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 420
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Joined: Feb 2000
Posts: 420 |
Without splitting hairs on the use of the term "affair", you can certainly say that it is a betrayal that would have most if not all the dynamics of an EMA.
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