Last night, another fight. I'm so tired of it. It's not even the past year, the whole darn marriage has been this way. Now he's admitting he's bipolar (I told him it was because his OW was). He said it wasn't and got all mad. I was suppose to be on bedrest for my pregnancy, but who was going to clean the house? He gets all mad at me and then when I stop talking to him he says, "don't be mad at me". Every time we get in these arguements I get so mad and frustrated. I always end up feeling like I have to take responsibility for everything in his life. Everything that happened before he knew me his mom's fault, everything after, mine. I'm just, I don't think I want to even try and save this "fake" marriage if it's always going to be like this. Then I go out to go to work this morning and his beer cans are sitting underneath the car. Why can't we be honest?? I tell him everything. It makes me wonder what else he is lying about.

{{{{{RAINEFALL}}}}} I'm so sorry he's hurting you this way. Recovery eventually has to be a two-way street. It's not helping that you're pregnant and have all those hormones all out of whack either. Do you go to counseling together? If not, it's a good start. At least then, you'd be able to let your H know that you cannot and will not accept responsibility for his behavior. I'm sorry I don't have much advice, as my M is almost over. I'm not in such a happy place right now either. I just wanted you to know that I cared. Perhaps you and your H could fill out the E/N's questionnaires together and agree to try to meet one or two of them? My prayers go out to you.<p>MOM

Hi RF. Here is a big hug for you. <<<<<<<<RF>>>>>>>>>>><p>This is part of recovery. It is normal. You guys haven't been at it very long. My goodness, your A was only 8 months ago and your H's 4!!<p>You need to settle down and give it time. How are you at reading? Tons of good books out there if you have time. Regardless of whether it works out with your H or not, you need to recover and work on yourself. I know everyone always says this, but it's true. Work on your anger and not getting mad so easily, or often.<p>Good luck.
HbH