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My H had an A 3 years ago that led me to find out that I was married to a total stranger. He had done so many disgusting things that I was unaware of that I still can't trust him, even though he says he's changed. Anyway, I wanted to send his little friend a ho ho ho Christmas card just to vent a little and I don't know whether or not to mail it. I have never confronted her about the A and I know I have a lot of resentment built up in me, both towards her and my H. Any suggestions?
PS. We were married for over 30 years at the time and she is 20 years younger than him.
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1 |
I wouldn't it, it isn't worth it. Focus on yourself and your M. Nothing to be gained except a momentary personal satisfaction that later on you might regret.
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,815
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,815 |
Truedy, I think that ragjax is probably right, but I would get a very large dose of personal satisfaction by sending a polite dignified Christmas greeting. I would let her know what you know and wish her a Happy New Year. Maybe this would give her something to think about if she is spending the holiday fooling around with someone else's H. HoHoHo, Ladysing [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 197
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 197 |
Hey Truedy. Someone once posted here.."Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die".
Too true. Vent your resentment here on friendly ears. We've all been there or are still there. And if you must do something do as Ladysing58 says and send an honorable card. You'd be suprised at how much better it makes you feel than venting on her. I did than to my W's OM 8 years ago and it helped me. And he left town!
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,236
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 2,236 |
Truedy,<p>Welcome seeing as no one has done that yet!!!<p>There is some awesome information for you to read at this sight and I encourage you to do so ASAP.<p>If you go to "Just found out" there is a welcome post there that will tell you about posting and what some of the abbreviations mean.<p>Again welcome!! Go read, read, read and read some more!!!!<p>Dawn
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 980
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 980 |
Hello Truedy,<p>Welcome. Is the A over but the former OW is still around at work or something? Do you suspect that she is still interested in your H?<p>If the affair was over three years ago, I don't think you would gain anything by contacting her. After all, he's with you now. <p>If you feel comfortable doing so, let us know more about your background. There are lots of books that people can recommend to help you understand what has happened and to help you deal with your feelings about your H, the OW, and the A.<p>Estes
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